Lanterne Rouge Vol 2: SPD Tattoos

It's done and I have the "tattoos" to prove it!

Cyclo Cross (CX) season is well underway and my Evolution Cycling Club (EVO) Brothers and Sisters are making it happen in mud, blood, and spades. My list of excuses for not participating was about as long as my rather stickly legs. As many of you know, last Spring I allowed peer pressure (in truth it was my vanity for the camera) to drive me to stand with our CX team on photo day. This was hung hard over my cranium by SUPER CHICKEN (I’m told the cape is an optional uniform item to his CX skinsuit…it even has a quick break away feature to ensure no increased drag). So being of very weak an impressionable mind, I signed up for not just one but two CX races…

Having missed formal CX practices I turned to Computer Based Training (CBT) efforts (READ: Email and YouTube). That’s how we do a lot of things now anyway. Virtual CX here I come. Video makes everything look so simple so after a failed attempt to make CX practice on 1 Nov, I began my trash talking Mon (2 Nov) on schedule. I bounced around my office explaining the art of CX and how I was going to play in the mud and drink beer with folks cheering all around. The grand life was just ahead. Bike(ROCK)Star status was near…

Well, a week of mental gymnastics crushed my spirits by Friday mid-day. Planning to race on Sat (and Sun) I set the alarm to make it happen. My body just said "NO" to the early wake up (0400) and 3+00 drive for Sat's event. I rolled back over in bed, turned off the alarmed and set (closed) my eyes and rested my legs for Sun. I think I woke up at noon…

Having not raced since Aug, I began to really ping Sat night. As the Summer ended I had my race prep, to include a pre-race Martini (or two) down to a science. Not the case this weekend. I ran around my place adding and subtracting kit and stuff from my cycling bag. I was back to being a serious rookie. It seemed that all I learned since Feb was now gone. I was back to square one…

Temps were in the 40s with estimates near 60 at race time. Believing I would keep my leg warmers on I did not even shave my legs. I was going to go at it with natural stubble…

I took advice from the team and showed up two hours before my start time. I rode the course, practiced the barriers, let some air out of my tires, and told myself, this is not too bad. I can do this. I can make this happen. I can race CX. My TURTLE shell will protect me. I want to be a Bike(ROCK)Star!!!

I ran into a few of the Brothers (and one Sister) and gained motivation from having the team round. Chris Larsen told me that after today I will have the knowledge and experience to see that Road season is just prep for CX season. I was looking forward to it…

So, with the festivities (I did like that by the way…music, beer, fries, beer, laughter, beer, sausage, beer---YES…this was my type of party!!!) underway, I lined up to start my first CX race.

I lasted 100m and I hit the ground. They guy in front of me seem to hit the brakes hard. I hit his rear wheel, three others rolled up on my back wheel leaving fresh tracks across my TURTLE shell and down I went. I sprang up as fast as I could, grabbed the bike and tried to get going. The back wheel was taco’d bad. CRAP!!! I was rubbing the frame!!! I made it half the way around the loop, over the barriers as I just had to do it once and off the course I went. I was done…

With head hung low I walked back to the car. Joseph Kontun (Jeff Erler called him CROUTON---that name has to stick---hint, hint, EVO Super Secret Nickname Committee) met me along the road and yelled, “TURTLE, I have a spare wheel, go register for the next race!” CROUTON grabbed my bike up and over his bike and rode to his car. I ran to my rental car, grabbed my wallet and ran to the registration table. I got there just 5 min before the time cut off. I had a friend pin my number on and there was Jeff Erler and CROUTON w/ my rig. I was back in it…another case of peer pressure that I could not avoid.

With a short delay to evac a guy that broke his ankle (that should have been a warning to me), I rode the course again. Jeff Erler decided to hang back and ride w/ me and coach me through the effort. That was certainly KOOL ‘n da GANG!

As we started I was just happy to make it more than 100 meters. About 2/3 around the loop Jeff stood up to wait for me. He was good to his word. He could hear me giving birth to a lung and tried to calm me down. I could not settle in. This was serious work and I was not cutting it.

Each effort over the barriers was greeted by an SPD pedal in the shin. Having removed my leg warmers (as the temps were no in the 70s…WX men SUCK!!!), my stickly, stubble covered (next time vanity wins and I shave!!!) shins were taking a beating. Being passed by almost everyone on the circuit, my ego was taking even more…

After a few laps, Jeff could see where I was struggling. I had a death grip on the brakes that just pushed me further and further back. He told me to trust my bike. OK, I do…when I’m on asphalt!!! This was different. With two laps to go, I finally listen and let the bike just roll. It worked. It was much easier. However, the beat down I was experiencing had taken its toll fare in cash. I was TURTLE TOAST and there was no recover insight. At least in a CRIT or circuit race one can sit in and recover after an effort. This was more like a TT on grass and mud. And we all know TURTLE only “looks” good for TTs. Another vanity photo spread it is…

I heard the announcer say last lap for the leaders. I told Jeff I wanted a beer…actually I said I want two beers. So after getting passed by the leaders on their final lap, Jeff picked up a beer as he went past the pavilion. I heard, “We got a beer up” and I managed a little laugh through the pain thinking that is so freaking KOOL ‘n da GANG!!!

Crossing the start finish Jeff surprised me and handed me a beer. He was the beer up . . . NO WAY!!! I sat up, took a gulf and asked were we done and before he even replied, I had half the beer in my tummy and pulled off the course.

Walking back to pavilion, after being scolded for taking a beer at the finish, a friend of mine met me with another beer. It was over and my thirst was being quenched. My shins felt like TURTLE cube steaks. The music and the beer was helping some. I need much more…

So my first CX race is complete and I have to be honest crew, I believe this may just be my last. I’ll come watch, cheer, and drink (I do this better than most anyone I know!!!) at a future event but for now I humbly request someone to please Photoshop me out the team CX picture. I admit that I am a shaved leg Roadie to the bone. Bring on the Spring and a good CRIT--back to BAD ASS BASE BUILDING I go . . .

Lanterne Rouge Vol 2: Rabid TURTLE Development Program

"No campaign plan survives first contact with the enemy"
- Helmuth Graf von Moltke, German Generalfeldmarschall.

Well here was my plan for the week. I put a great deal of little TURTLE brain bites in it and even sent it to my couch Bill Gros (Pyramid Training Systems--pyramidtrainingsystems@yahoo.com) so we could begin TURTLE Development in earnest beginning tomorrow 1 Sep . . .

MON: FC x 2; small chain ring / Gym . . . one rep maximum test to determine workout weight;

TUE: FC x 2; small chain ring . . . test to see if I can do two days back to back--have not done that in a while

WED: MC x 2 / Gym (week 1 program)

THUR: MC x 2 / may try RBC ride if I can make it out of my meting by 1600. It takes almost 1+00 from desk to Dunn-Lorring Metro and another 1+00 to the RBC meet point in Herndon. That includes transition time. I can always bail on that ride as it gets close to my house.

FRI: MC x 1 and pick up rental car for the weekend . . .

Here’s what the codes FC and MC mean:

(42K) FULL (PENTAGON) COMMUTE (FC): http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/va/sterling/669124927245977844

(24K) METRO COMMUTE (MC): http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/va/sterling/495124173919732297

So, the plan was set and at 0400 I was up and ready to execute a 0500 departure. My only worry was if my one headlamp would last the commute. The second bulb in my NiteRider Classic burned out last week and I had no spare. Order three last night before going to bed.

But then I believe someone set off an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) device at my place around 0430. My laptop crashed with the MAC version of the Window’s Blue Screen of death. That is not supposed to happen!!! After a few minutes of trying to get it restarted—they all failed, I pushed for the door. I had a 42K ride to work and needed to get going into the sunrise . . . ah the nostalgia. NOT!!! I was !@#$%^& already late!!!

Then my Garmin Edge 305 did not turn on! Where were the @#$%^&* gremlins??? And why were my two cats laughing so hard???

Yet into the darkness I pushed and at 5K down the road I remembered I left an item that I needed for work. Back I went. More gnashing of teeth. More crushing blows to the TURTLE shell. This just about eliminated my desire to get to the gym and start a weight lifting routine. Why was someone trying to take away TURTLE joy??? Who did I piss off now??? I already told my Boss of my plans to retire . . .

I was starting to get crushed mentally. Then I really thought about it . . . I don’t need a HR monitor or computer to tell me how to pedal fast. Back to old school I go. And the laptop? Well, I had 2K set aside for a PowerTap or a beater pick-up truck. Both move down the list now . . .

So att this point the one piece of working technology…my iPod, was in full throttle. I matched the hard rock with the quickest cadence my little TURTLE stick could muster. OK, stop laughing . . . it was more than 50 rpm. I don’t know how much more (remember…no computer) but it was more!!!

With about 12K to go, I rolled up a guy at a light. We traded passing each other for a bit and then decided to ride and talk to each other. He pushed the tempo a bit (he was on a clock and I was trying to stay in the small chain ring) but I hung in there.

Turns out he is commuting the National Defense University (NDU…I worked there this past summer) and even better, he is in the USAF (graduated 2 years ahead of me at the Air Froce Academy) and did an exchange tour with the German Luftwaffle (Air Force). It was just the words I needed to break me out of my electronic funk . . .

I fixed the Garmin when I got to work this AM. Jeff Erler (I bought the Edge 305 from him) told me it would happen and I found the trick to restart it posted on the web. Could not do it this AM…recall—no laptop.

However, I am on it and although it is only 1245 and I really need to get back to work, I am looking forward to the spin home. The Rabid TURTLE Development Plan starts in earnest tomorrow!

Life is still good!

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: This is like deja vu all over again!

Can someone please stand up and tell me what century and month we are in? For some reason it feels like "The Ides of March" and I was once again slain on the road to cycling greatness this past weekend. Similar to 15 Mar 09 when I did my very first CRITat the last race of the TradeZone series in MD, Brutus and a few others inflicted a serious pain on my legs and left me for dead . . .

Before I bring the fear with the gory details, I'll start with the good stuff . . .

My last weekend of road racing (this season that is--a bit too mental to go into rehab for this addictive drug...I WILL RACE FOREVER!!!) began with the final installment of the 540Cycling Development Series. After a poor personal effort in race 1, a bit of confusion and poor communication in race 2, Evolution Cycling Club's CAT 5 crew came to the line hungry for victory. OH yeah, this is why this is so addictive. Give me another hit of pure testosterone will ya!!!

We revised our strategy a number of times. Chris Carlson had the plan and I had my orders. I told the Brothers that I was not going to fall back in the pack like last race. I would stay near the front no less than 5 deep and haul the mail as best my little TURTLE sticks could. I had one of the best warm ups I have had in a long time. I took the full hour!!! I was hydrated, I was pumped (withoutRedBull), I was ready . . .

So off we went and within the first lap I moved to position 3 and then bounced up to 2. After a few laps the bell rang for a prime. In an instant, I decided to go for it. Sitting second wheel, I had never been in a position for such an effort. Heck, this was my last circuit race so why not try something new?

Entering the last turn and small up hill section, I was still second wheel. I just had to time my break out effort to win the prime. However, others were there to spoil my TURTLE glory. Two others moved to my left and the third was my teammate Chad. I was still hungry for the prime and decided to go for it. About 25m from the line I remembered why TURTLE has never won a prime. TURTLE can't sprint!!!

What was I thinking? Again, will someone please remind me of the century and month. I was just about to get slain again!!! I was toast after the effort and for a fleeting painful post (and very poor) sprint pedal strokes, I wondered if I would get shot out the back for my treachery. Who was I to contest a prime? I'm a TURTLE for a reason . . .

Falling about 10 deep, Jon Burns, a brother racing unattached yelled, "Get on TURTLE!" Got to love that push from someone you have just recently met . . . I got back on. Don't know how but I did. I sat back a bit to recover. While in the pack some guy kept pinching my ass. I thought it was a hint to move up or move over. Later I found out it was fellow teammate Jamie Lees letting me know he was there. The first time surprised me. The 5th time I was starting to like it a bit too much and began the move up . . .

Confidence returning and seeing Chris Carlson near the front I knew I had to go back to work. I rolled up on him and told him I had it. I went back to position 2 and road hard until the next prime. Lost some ground on the surge for the prime but w/ 4 to go, the 5 of us moved to the front. The plan was Kevin, then me, followed by Chris and Chad. I think we failed to get all of the plan to Jamie but he was in on the effort none-the-less . . .

With 1 and 1/4 to go, the guy that had won the first two races jumped with a Coppi cat and had a nice gap on the field. I was second wheel and the guy in front of me was letting them get away. This was the move!!! With the team behind me I felt I had to chase. The effort burned all 3 of my matches. Even the last wet one was used. Chris finished off the effort just as we hit the start finish line and on the bell lap he and Chad went for it w/ Kevin and Jamie at the front of the group. No CAT 5 BLOB to the finish . . . Bill Gros and the EVO Elders would be proud.

The slight down hill played to the bigger riders and Chad got boxed in a bit and was caught. However, EVO did well. We took 3rd (Jamie), 5th (Chad), 14th (Kevin), 16th (Chris), 18th (me), and 21st (Jerry P). We got on the podium!!! Way to go Jamie. In fact, Jamie was 3rd in the CAT 5 race and 3rd in the CAT 5 35+ . . . ANIMAL!!!

So, my last circuit race as a CAT 5 and I failed to secure a top 10. My 18th place finish dropped me from 9th to 14th in the series. Not how I wanted to end my season but gives me more motivation for next year. Speaking of motivation, while wishing I had done better (yeah, TURTLE does sometimes has a bad moment), Roxanne, while limping around in a leg cast, smacks me in the back of the head to provide perspective. It worked . . . As SOC says, "Perspective is something that you don't have...until you have it." . . . I have it!!!

If finishing 18th was not hard enough I headed to the Page Valley Road Race on Sunday. The course offered a 1.5 mile climb and about 1000ft of climbing each lap. We would go up that climb 3 times . . .

Here I met up with SKIP who was just off his ride in France during the Tour and covering some of the great climbs. He looked lean and ready to rock. I began in bad shape and it only got worse . . .

The field broke apart on the first climb. I was joined by a guy on the decent and working together we picked up another. The three of us worked to meet up for SKIP after he sat up to wait for me. What a Brother!!! The four of us grabbed two others. This was AWESOME!!! Well...until the last climb . . .

Starting just 5min behind us were the CAT 4 women and SKIP put in a hard effort to ensure they would not catch us. As we reached the base of the final climb my legs began to cramp. SKIP and the other 5 cats rolled away. The last time I cramped this bad I was about 20lbs heavier!!! Tried my best to just pedal through it but could not. Stopped and actually got off the bike as everyone, to include the ladies field (led by Cat and Emma) can flying by. TURTLE was done!!! TURTLE TOAST scattered across the road as buzzards circled overhead . . .

It took every bit of mental will to get back on the bike. I wanted in the chase car bad!!! I marked two guys in front of me and caught them both. As I hit the last rise to the finish the cramping return. I saw the line and just punched it. I did as FISH asked, I left it all and more on the road. I saved the hardest race I have ever done for my last road race of the season . . .

With only the Church Creek TT on the calendar (2 weeks away), I'll submit my upgrade paperwork this week. Time to reflect on a season that started with a crushing at TradeZone (lapped three times in that CRIT) and ends with one equally as intense.

As I got home, my neighbor was just returning from bowling practice. For an instant I considered a sports change. Then I woke up and remembered the building of Rome took more than one season. I put my winter training wheels on my road rig and the run up to next year begins after some down time . . . and a few Dirty Martinis!!!

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: "21" . . . BLACKJACK!

BLACKJACK? Sorry, that was a flash back . . .

I once lived in Vegas and never won a nickel. However, I often took friends and family on casino tours and they all did great. This is sort of how my racing effort is shaping up. My team mates are kicking serious butt and taking names. I read their race reports and shake each time the phone rings. I think it is the EVO Godfather, Vic THE BRICK, calling for my cycling kit. I'll have to give it up or face a few guys from New Jersey in a dark DC alley....

I've competed in 21 events to date and that top 10 finish still stands just out of my reach. However, I'm still at it and already looking forward to this coming Saturday. Oh yeah, despite a poor performance weekend, the UBER positive TURTLE is in full throttle as this week starts . . .

But let's take a step back . . .

The TURTLE Uber Positive (TUP) Index was off the charts Saturday AM. I had my Baby Brother Adam visiting from Chicago this past weekend and he was was excited about seeing me race. Took a jab from SLUG pointing out that Adam my "real" Brother and not a teammate (my normal greeting) and most certainly not just someone who's name I have forgotten (my default response). Add a full suite of Evolution Cycling Club jerseys to the mix and confidence went through the roof.

I beat my rather skinny chest as I picked up my number and boldly announced EVO was bringing da heat today!!! The 540Cycling Development series would have an EVO jersey on the podium today. I just knew it. Larry Byvik of 540Cycling was stoked to see the numbers from the EVO crew. That just added to my mental, over confident, espresso, pre-RedBull high . . .

So, the Brothers huddled and words were exchanged. We had a few Brothers in their first CRIT but that did not stop my mouth. As we rolled around the course guys I met on race #1 of the series yelled out . . . "TURTLE, what the _____? You brought a train with you!" More skinny chest beats. Almost caved it in at one point so I had to back off a bit. I need my lungs to race.

We decided not to attack and counter attack and see how the field developed. There was a plan to hit it w/ 5 to go w/ Chris and Chad going for it. The rest of us would cover the front and if the boys were caught, Andrew would conserve and hit it hard.

From the start no one wanted any part of being at the front in this race. Chris set the tempo for most of the race and even took a prime. Somehow I missed that there were primes and so did he. It was a surprise to us all but no one challenged him at the front. David was also leading a great deal of the race. Most of the team stayed within the top third of the field. However, we were fairly spread out and that hurt us to a degree.

Looking back in that all so clear 20/20 vision, we should have sent three guys on the front and just beat the field down. We had the strength in the field to do it but just did not organize it well. We've done that in the past but did not execute it well this time around.

With 5 to go I moved up to about 4 deep with Chris on the front. We did not lay down the attack but with 3 to go a guy from Coppi pushed hard. Chris covered it and drug the rest of us up. TURTLE fear began here! This is where I am usually shot out the back for the final 2 laps and come limping home with my head hung low. But somehow I hung in as guys in the pack on my team and cats I have raced with this season yelled at me to stay in it. And that I did but I had drifted back in the lead group from my position near the front. It was a bad, very bad position.

With one to go, David (in his first CRIT) pushed off the front. It was an awesome move showing the strength of his serious distance work. This was the move I needed but about 7 deep and boxed to the opposite side of the road I was way out of position to go with him. It then became very unorganized as the last lap pace increased. After my excitement of being in the lead group for the final lap, I counted helmets in a desperate math in public move.

Reality hit like a bag of nickels across the face. Higher math said I was too far back and had to move up if I wanted a top 10 finish. I started my effort but everyone else was doing the same. The CAT 5 BLOB was coming! RUN!!!

We were all over the place. Bad lines just about took Chris and Andrew out in the second to last turn and as we hit the final turn the front spread out across the road and the sprint to the line started.

Unfortunately, our best sprinter, Chad did not know it was the last lap. Kevin, our best TT guy in the field did not realize it either. Not having a good sprint, it was sad that I knew and they didn't. I gave my best effort and found myself sprinting next to my teammate way to far out. CRAZY!!! David already said he was not a sprinter. I could have used his power to get me closer to the line. Instead, I faded and was passed by three folks to finish 13th. Missed my 10!

EVO took 7th, 10th, 11th, 13th, 14th, and 15th. Those numbers should all be less than 10 w/ a 1st place finish to boot.

Crushed I was. I started looking for excuses and had to check my attitude. It took a few email slings off list w/ Chris and Chad to set me straight. Thanks Brothers. We will make it happen this week. EVO will win . . . PERIOD!!!

But my weekend was not over. My little Brother and I headed south for The Peter Teeuwen Memorial Omnium Time Trial in Chesapeake, VA. As we showed up Sunday AM I ran into SLUG, JUNK and Ray. Was told that the EVO Godfather, VIC da Brick was there as well. Nice! The pressure was on to do better than my Church Creek TT effort over a month ago.

At the start line, JUNK passed on course info . . . thanks Bro! So after a great warm up, I was ready to hit it and off I went. The wind heading out was not harsh but was more than the little TURTLE engine could handle. The "I think I can, I think I can" chant drifted to looking at my speed and wondering why it was not picking up. There was little to no rhythm in legs or breathing. I was a disaster on the dance floor. I shifted through gears looking for the right mix as my speed began to fade even more. Even though I caught 2 riders, 3 had caught me. I was not doing well.

Making the turn for the last 10 K I found my groove and was able to keep a consistent speed (hleped by a bit of tail wind). Could have used that 25K ago!!! I was late to the party and had no date or anyone to dance with at this point. It was a solo effort down the Soul Train line with my best atempt to bust a move . . .

For about 30 sec I believe I could brake an hour. NOT!!! I crossed the line at 1:02:28. Average speed of just 32 KPH. I need soooooooooooo much more work.

21 separate events (Road races, CRITs, and TTs) completed to date and a top 10 finish remains just outside my reach. Discouraged? NEVER!!! This just sets me up w/ experience and a since of dedication to attack next season as a CAT 4 TURTLE. The Rabid TURTLE is not done . . .

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: Up, Up, and Off the Back

Well, an international, jet-setting bike/rockstar I am not!!! A 1+30 car ride to the airport at 0400, a flight from Frankfurt to Paris, a mad dash through the Paris Charles de Gaulle airport for connection in order to arrive at Washington Dulles at 1300 on a Thursday does not really give one time to prep for an intense road race on Saturday. Especially one that has 1000 ft of climbing on each lap of a 10 mile loop. Thankful that I am a CAT 5 and only had to suffer two laps at the Lost River Classic (www.ncvc.net/lostriver/Wiki%20Pages/Route%20Maps.aspx)!!!

However, I am getting ahead of myself and not really telling the whole painful, confidence crushing, lung loosing, confidence returning, only to get crushed again story. So here it goes . . .

My plans were tight. I would fly to Europe for two weeks, see My Monsters, and train (I had a training schedule in hard and soft copy--I was prepared to make it happen!!!). Well, I flew to Europe, I saw My Monsters but training? That word was lost in translation.

Would not call renovating an apartment training. Unless I was trying out for a remake of the Karate Kid as I painted walls. And of course I added insult to it all with 0.5l after 0.5l of Paulaner Hefe-Weizen. A great refreshing "Bier" after a hard day of work. Also great calories. I gained 10lbs during the two weeks I was gone!!!

The little time on the legs (one 75K (ZONE 2) road ride and a 25K MTB ride with My Monsters) did not discourage my mouth or fingers from talking trash via email on how with 7 cats racing, the Evolution Cycling Club would serve up justice at The Lost River Classic. We had a plan and we would execute it . . .

I think the plan was going well for about 6K into the race. I was near the front and riding strong. I felt a bit "chunky monkey" but great. Jet-lag? Nope, I was wired to race and fueled on espresso and RedBull. Chris Carlson and the rest of the brothers were just behind me. I would make it happen this race and bring him to a strong finish. It was all about returning the favor to Chris for a strong ride on Stage 1 of the Tour of Washington Co.

As the terrain started up, I responded. A smarter cyclist (of which TURTLE is not) would have realized that TEAM SNAPPLE was not the group to try and follow. A bunch of elite Tri-athletes that climb like gazelles. Chris had already put out great words on what not to do in the very situation I found myself in. Somehow, I was on the road of denial.

As my heart rate soared over 200 bpm I began to fall apart. Chris mentioned seeing puffs of smoke. I think it was like that scene inThe Fast and The Furious when car parts started falling off after too much nitrous. The espresso with a RedBull chaser impaired my judgement. What my mind believed and my heart (pre-explosion) desired, my legs failed to provide. Pieces of TURTLE shell began to litter the road. The slide backwards began and seemed no to want to end.

Before the race I feared the decent more than anything else. Add the recent Jens Voight crash in the Tour and a similar crash of my own when I first started cycling in 1998, I was not looking forward to it at all.

It was a pure unknown and words of loose gravel placed fear on my rather small chest that seem to cover the entire part of my jersey. However, after reaching the top of the climb I let my bike go. Fear? Lots of it. However, did I not say my judgment was clouded and impaired. I was able to catch three guys on the decent and get within sight of a group w/ 3 EVO jerseys. Kevin had joined me and two others. I yelled for the group to work together w/ short pulls, we could make this work. There was that TURTLE Uber Positive (TUP) confidence again.

I began to dig deep but came up short. There was nothing left. I tried to stand to close the gap as the terrain started up. If the first effort did not claim a lung, this attempt sure did. At some point my legs just said no and my mind said OK. Followed by, what in the world were you thinking? You should be on the sofa recovering from jet-lag with a martini!!!

I then dropped my chain and added salt to my wounds. For the first time in the 18 races I have done this year, I wanted to wait on the sag wagon. Yet I pressed on to the finish with my entire team of CAT 5 Brothers and a great friend that came to see the carnage cheering me up the last 100 m of climb to the finish. So glad I did not quit. So glad it was over. With judgment still impaired I vowed to do it again (and better as a CAT 4) next year . . .

Arriving home and feeling a bit discouraged I began to slowly prep my rig for the 540Cycling Development Series Crit on Sunday. It took an email from Chris Carlson (yeah Bro, I'm calling you out) to snap me out of my little slump and pity-party. Add a number of positive FaceBook posts from the team as well as a few Brothers from my high school dayz, I started to regain my confidence. The TURTLE Uber Positive (TUP) index was gaining ground . . .

I arrived at Warrenton to preview the course and get an hour long warm up on the trainer. While warming up I saw SPONGE in the CAT 5 event and was looking forward to the skinny before the CAT 5 35+ (old-guy CAT 5 racing--YES!!!) race. And SPONGE deliver the goods. I was eager to do well.

Racing with a bunch of cats near your age is KOOL 'n da GANG. Maturity at it's best!!! No young bucks making you wish for Motrin stronger than 800mg as your post race recovery chewables. Again, this was awesome. The course was sweet and the pace was fast but not too furious. I sat no less than 3 or 5 deep for most of the race.

I let others do the work and jumped from wheel to wheel. I was a wheel sucking slug!!! I began to believe in myself and although my sprint is rather poor, I could and would hang in for a top 10. Today was going to be my day!!!

NCVC had two guys in the race and they had done most of the work all day. Half way through the 3rd to last lap with one guy on the front an attack came from the other guy just behind me in 5th or 6th position. This was the move. I had to go with it. I jumped for the NCVC wheel but could not match the acceleration. I blew up again as a swarm of ridders went around me. I found myself 10 deep within a few painful pedal strokes. I then fell off the back.

I fought to get back into the group and was surprised that I made it back in with one lap to go. However, as the bell rang the pressure came and I failed to respond. Dropped on the backside of the last lap I rolled across the line 12th. OUCH!!!

Reflecting back, I question if I should have tried to close the gap w/ the stronger rider. Perhaps I should have waited for someone else to make the move but not sure if that would have happened. I believe it was the move that one had to make and these are the moves I need to cover down on next year. The season is far from over but I already know it's going to be a long hard winter.

BTW . . . 2 days of racing is indeed the best way to loose 5lbs!!! I'll commute this week and be back to my race weight for this weekend for 540Cycling #2 and the PLT TT. Both are on my list and I will get 'em done. Oh yeah, TUP is once again up . . .

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: Racing Backwards

Brothers and Sisters . . .

With the Evolution Cycling Club making it happen and moving out with the likes of RYAN (theflyingmidget.blogspot.com) snatching the Mid-Atlantic Bicycle Racing Association (MABRA) Senior Criterium CAT 3 Championships and MA leading the Proteus/MABRA Women's Cat 4 Series and EMMA right on her wheel, I feel almost compelled to walk away from my keyboard.  However, my inability to ride fast has never (well almost never) impacted my ability to misuse the English language.  So on w/ my rookie race report I go . . .

Having emotionally healed my confidence through a martini shaker following the crushing at the Reston Town Center Grand Prix (RTCGP) and one "brief" ride w/ the Reston Bike Club (RBC) Group ...I believed my good week of commuting set me up well for the Hagerstown Criterium Challenge/MABRA Senior Criterium Championships.  W/in the CAT4/5 EVO list group I went from talking about getting a top 10 to putting an EVO jersey on the podium of victory!!!

With 7 Brothers starting the race I was certain we could make it happen.  I was prepared to ride smart and hard through any and all carnage.  If my legs began to fall off, I would hold them on w/ GU or something.  I wanted this one!!!

I would chant "suck it up Buttercup" every time I thought about the race.  My little TURTLE brain knew SPONGE, Willson, and Andrew were our best hopefuls and I would do what ever it took to get them to the finish.  Again, confidence was all over the place as I posted our "strategy" on the net leading up to the race.

Dan Bailey provided a lift and enough time for a good warm up.  I also knew if Dan got a good warm up, he would ride strong and could lead the group into the finish.  He truly is a DIESEL on the road and should be named so.  Then agin in EVO blue, we can start calling him "TANK" which is short for Thomas the Tank Engine . . . just a thought.

By I digress . . . so having a great warm up and a preview of the course, I was ready at the line as off we went.  The first few laps were quick but not very crazy with most of us sitting near the front.  Willson pushed off the front w/ another guy in a great move.  SPONGE sat at the front of the group and I was about 2 wheels back.  The gap was huge!!!  I moved closer to SPONGE and actually thought Willison could pull off the break but my Brother pushed a bit too hard and could not keep the distance.

As we caught him, a Bike Rack guy started a move off the front w/ SPONGE on his wheel and Me right behind him.  I let them pull away until a NCVC guy decided he was not going to let that happen and I went w/ him.  I can hear VIC screaming right now as I know we should have countered w/ another EVO guy.  The EVO Elders are perhaps not happy right now.

However, this is about when the wheels started to come off the bus as the tempo increased and my HR hit about 200!!!  Carnage, lots of carnage began as we began to lap a few guys.  It was RTCGP all over again.  A race of attrition was on . . .

I lasted until about 6 laps to go and started racing backwards, pedaling in Lego squares, and loosing situational awareness as the break had 11 seconds on us.  I tried to grab Dan's wheel as out the back of a group of about 12-15 guys I went.  I was joined by 2 others and we worked together to try to get back on the lead group.  At this point my pedaling Legos were starting to build a house and I rolled off the back of this little effort to cross the line in another TURTLE last.  Consistent I am for sure . . .

A last that was 18th from the field of over 30 that either DNF or were pulled by the judges.  I thought I was a lot further back than that.  I'll take that math as I am now consistently in the top 20 of my last few races.  However, my desire remains a to finish in the top 10!

Another race of attrition completed and my lust for a top 10 finish postponed yet again.  So off to Germany I go and will build a bit of liquid courage w/ a few Paulaner Hefe-Weizen Dunkels.  They are already in the fridge at the house and will help me get over the jet lag and train so I can get ready for The Lost River Classic (www.ncvc.net/lostriver) on 25 Jul.  Time to get the climbing legs on.  Any one want to loan me a pair (or at least one) . . .