LANTERNE ROUGE Season VI: Finding the Lost TURTLE

Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long & Foster
2014 Lost River State Park, West Virginia

For the last 5 years, The Reston VA based Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long & Foster has called West Virginia’s Lost River State Park home during a 3 - 4 day period in March.  To the hills and valleys we go in search of pain.  We check out from our daily grinds, enjoy long climbs, fast descents, paceline practice, attacks, counters, and a few open discussions from more experienced riders.  Camp allows one to verify their Winter training programs or clearly identify that you did not train enough.  This time is the best of times for Evolution as we ride as a group, meet new members, eat large meals and drink lots . . . this is the bikeROCKstar life at its best.  It is also the reason I fly from Germany to participate.  Evolution is my cycling family and I need this to keep me sane . . .

Despite the baskets of goodness, Camp has always been painful for me.  As I think about it, painful is really and understatement.  Camp has often slapped a crushing blow to the TURTLE Shell.  Fragments of TURTLE cover almost every climb in and around Lost River State Park.  One day archaeologist will come across these remains and break down in tears over the volume of their find  as they try to understand why someone would keep doing something he was most certainly not good at and should have stopped long ago . . . yeah, Camp was one crushing ride after another.

Evolution would set up three rides, an A, B and C Group.  I was like a D-.  On more than one occasion I was alone and afraid on the roads of West Viginia spinning my way through thoughts of a bad  “Deliverance” and spandex mix.  Yet I never turned away.  My lungs would explode and my legs would start to fall off at the slightest terrain or tempo change and my solo ride would begin.  I guess I just loved being crushed . . .

On a few occasions cats would slow down and hang with the TURTLE.  I was always thankful for these times yet I knew I was holding others back.  I knew I had to improve and last Fall I told Coach Quest I would not accept another Crush the TURTLE Fest.  I was determined to not repeat the insanity of days of Camp past . . .

Yet, after blowing the TURTLE Shell gasket at the first race of the Schmolke Carbon Cup, I was a reck approaching training camp. I told Claudia I was nervous and at times even sick to my stomach.  I landed in Virginia and began to tell SHAGGY I was worried as well.  Three years of being crushed was a hard pill to swallow.  Again, this is medicine I wanted to avoid at all cost . . .

So after arriving early (last year I arrived on Wed and went to Camp on Thursday . . . seriously bad math there) and putting two light spins under my belt we headed for camp.  DAY 1 was a bitter cold beast.  We took trainers and box fans and prepared for an indoor spin.  It was at this point that SHAGGY mentioned he would join the small group of crazies on an outdoor ride.  Being a big wimp to peer pressure, I joined in . . .

Arctic Road Warriors

The ride lasted 30 minutes as 10 - 15 minutes out the door my hands were so frozen that shifting and breaking was painful to impossible.  I turned back with my cabin mate Kent and sat on a trainer for the next 1+30 to close out the day at 2 hours of saddle time.  In my little brain I had just failed my first Camp test of 2014.  The weekend was starting on a negative and slippery slope.  First venture out the gate was an epic failure.  Thoughts of “once a TURTLE always a TURTLE” ran through my rather small semi-frozen brain.  I needed to snap out of this funk and find my groove . . .

At dinner that night I stated I would do the shorter ride option for Day 2 (the C Group).  I needed a confidence boost and had to prove to myself that I could indeed climb the hills before me.  I was already backing off on the words I shared with Coach Quest before leaving Germany.  I was ready to accept defeat . . .

As I started to retreat, my Cycling Brother SHAGGY would not allow me to step back.  He was well aware of my training efforts and told me to step up to the B Group.  He would not let me back into my TURTLE Shell.  Another great Brother and Friend, Dan Bailey jumped on the cause as well.  He mentioned he would ride his pace and take it easy.  So once again peer pressure wins and I took a bigger bite out of life . . .

So after feeding my face, and grabbing 3 rice cakes DIVA made for the cabin crew, I lined up w/ the B Group and off I went up the starter climb of the day.  The leaders are the leaders and away they went climbing effortlessly right out of camp.  No warm up, just up.  WOW!!!  One day the TURTLE will do the same but not this first day.  This initial climb was all about survival . . . I had to survive as over 100K was on the agenda before me.  I settled into my rhythm and climbed better than I ever had.  Confidence grew with each pedal stroke.  I stopped to drop a layer on the TURTLE Shell to keep for burning up and continued to climb.  For the very first time in over 3 attempts at Camp, I was in the middle of the pack.  It was AWESOME!!!  The Winter Pain Cave efforts and long rides on the weekend were paying off.  A new TURTLE was emerging . . .

The remainder of the ride allowed me to meet some new members of the team, catch up with a few of the other Brothers, and even do some pace line work as MAC, one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children (USMC) formed us up in military fashion.  This was something I never experienced at Camp on my long solo rides off the back.  Each rotation through the front of the paceline increased my confidence.  My little TURTLE cranium was starting to swell under my helmet.  

The crew made one last stop about 15 K out and others went up the road with a soft pedal.  I lingered and then headed up the road solo.  I caught up with the crew and just pressed ahead.  I was in a euphoric TURTLE Dream.  This was good, life on the bike was good . . . things were back on track and going according to plan.  My best winter training effort had paid off.  I was even giddy as I returned to Camp.  The CAT 4/5 Team Captain (Phil Steinschneider) called me out as the most improved rider.  I was on Cloud 9 as my little cranium was about to explode . . . the tender legs felt great!!!

With a few route options on the table for Day 3 and feeling a bit over confident (I even had trouble getting my helmet on), I once again gave into peer pressure and decided to go on an easy “A-” figure 8 route with just “two” climbs.  SHAGGY described the 80 mile ride with colourful words and repeated “there are only two climbs” over and over again.  I listened to the other options and decided to move my chips across the table towards SHAGGY.  I rode strong the day before, I was ready for an upgrade.  A few others were also lured into this “easy” ride of just “two” climbs . . .

The smile hides the pain in my legs!

Yet my eyes were bigger than my legs as the A- crew’s easy pace was at TURTLE Threshold.  Cracks in the shell started to form even sitting on the wheel of another rider.  As the first climb started I was soon gapped and drifting backwards.  On the first descent the front wheel went soft at over 60 kph.  I thought it was gravel at first but soon figured out I had a flat.  I tried not to panic and get the bike under control and off to the side of the road.  TURTLE road rash was not planned and unwanted so I had to remain calm.  It was truly a struggle to remain upright but I did and to the side of the road I went . . .

Lucky for me SPUDS (Tom Begley) stopped and offered a hand.  My CO2 loader was shot and although it punctured the cartridge it did not fill the tube.  SPUDS performed a HABU (Hook A Brother Up) manoeuvre to fix my flat and off went went to catch up with the rest of the crew.  On more than one occasion I tried to take a pull and could not as we rocketed to the rally point.  He set a tempo that was FAST ’n FURIOUS.  I sat in and soon we were back with the group that was filling up at a local 7Eleven.   

After losing contact up the next climb (according to SHAGGY this was a large roller and not a “real” climb), a group of 6 made the first bail out and pushed for the cabins.  On the run in I watched one Brother demo an EVO Drift through a tight turn of gravel.  I have no idea how Todd kept his rig up.  I would have certainly crashed and slide right into the nearby creek to take a bath in chicken coop runoff . . . YUM!!!

As we approached camp, MAC confirmed his call to climb a bit more and off he went on the Day 2 climb out of Camp.  With legs of toast I bailed on my Brother and limped up the last climb to my cabin.  I needed something in the tank for Day 4 . . .

Last year snow canceled the last day of Camp.  This year it was once again threatened the day.  With 48 riders dropping down to less than dozen, we made the decision to make the climb up to Wolf’s Gap the out-and-back point.

I looked around and I was in the mist of an all A group.  In fact, it was more like an A+ group and I still need some extra credit to make up for missed lessons.  I was ready to turn back before we started but peer pressure drove me forward.  I am such a wimp!

The ride before the snow!

My legs confirmed I was a bit out of my league as we headed out and the “easy” tempo was once again at TURTLE Threshold.  I switched screens on my Garmin as seeing Zone 6 and the “you are about to explode TURTLE” was too much negative reinforcement.  However, once again MAC held back and paced the TURTLE along the rollers leading to the base of the climb.  As we started up I told MAC to go with the A riders that had stopped short to regroup for the climb.  My cranium was back down to normal size after the wake up call the day prior, I told myself I would just turn back after 1+15 and get a head start heading back to the parking lot.  MAC would have nothing to do with that.  He set the agenda and told me to “fall in” as I followed his line up the climb.  We even picked up the tempo to sprint for the top . . . What a CRAZY JARHEAD!?!

The descent was cold . . . REAL COLD! I held back on every turn as my lack of depth perception could not tell where winter gravel and crap on the road started or stopped.  All that climbing and I could not enjoy a wicked descent as I feared a monster wipe out or another flat.  UGH!!!  I was once again a wimp.

The Force Recon Marine was waiting at the bottom and a steady tempo home he did set.  Up the road was one loan EVO rider and MAC closed the gap to form a group of 3.  Temps had dropped and I was once again on my limit holding his wheel as he stayed true to his word and brought the TURTLE home . . .

The week was done and for those that are Power Junkies . . . I racked up over 1100 TSS points, road for over 17 hours, and climbed almost 5000 m (over 16,000 ft).  I am in he best shape I have ever been going into a season.  The current Schmolke Carbon Cup series are additional training events as my eyes are really set on Köln and the 125 km of the ŠKODA VELODOM 100.  The event has almost 1300 m of climbing and I failed to finish last year.  I will indeed finish it this year and ready myself for the remainder of the season . . . 

The Lost TURTLE has found his legs and is ready for the season . . . BRING IT!

LANTERNE ROUGE Season VI: Respecting the Red Line

It’s been a few years, 3 to be exact, since I put the TURTLE shell through a circuit race.  That 2011 effort was after a disastrous 2010 and a less than stellar (consistent) training effort.  My closest circle know the real deal so I will leave it there . . .  

Yet, near consistent training is a force multiplier and I wanted to be a force on the bike.  Nerds can indeed dream big and bold.  Lacking the genetic makeup of a true cyclist, I boldly told Coach Quest and others that “consistency will beat genetics” in 2014. While not as consistent as I could have been, I was still more consistent than any of the 5 years prior.  So at the start of my 6th racing season, I was just as eager and hungry for the road.  I eliminated every excuse I could imagine and now was the time . . .

Evolution Cycling Club - European Division
The Calm Before the Storm

The Schmolke Carbon Cup - Stage 1 was the season opener for a rag tag group of Americans and one token Brit that formed the Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long&Foster European Division (EVO Euro).  The Reston VA based EVO crew has already started the season out well on the US East Coast.  This was our turn to carry the name forward and add to a list of accomplishments.  With 18 cats and kittens on the EVO Euro roster, a magnificent seven (Jenn Call, James TIPSTER Tipler…the token 20yr old Brit, Jake SHAFT Brittingham, Jim DAPS Dapper, Jeff HAMMER Pannaman, Erich DUMPER Schmunk and the TURTLE)  took on the first stage of five in the series.  

Registered under the “Jedermann” or “Everyone” open category, we had no idea what to expect.  This was the first race of this sort for the majority of our band of seven.  With the best weather we could hope for over our craniums, we rolled down in a small convoy, set up a 10x10, picked up our timing chips (well that makes scoring easy), and rolled through one lap to recon the course.  We watched a few laps of the youngsters and were simply amazed at the size of the field.  Young mean and lean kids hitting it hard on bikes the barely came above my knee.  It was inspiring!!! 

The course was a 2.3 km circuit with 4 turns.  One was a wicked beast of over 115° . . . UGH!!!  There was a 20 m rise right after that, another 90° at the top onto very rough pavement and 2 more turns (1 could be classified as a bend) before the line home.  The wind at recon was pretty tamed.  We al assumed a fast course and a jockey for position . . .

Poor planning allowed for only one recon lap before the start of the 1st race . . . UGH x 2!!!  Need better control of the space-time-continuum in the future as a few runs at speed would have increased my confidence level and perhaps allowed me to recall bike racing of this sort.  I recalled all too well the words, “those that fail to plan, plan to fail…” I wanted nothing of failing on this day . . .

Four of our seven lined up our trainers and it felt über good to be part of an organised team at a race again.  We each went through our warm up routines.  Christy Pannaman stood next to HAMMER calling out stages of his warmup routine.  It was awesome!!!  She even started yelling at me to pick up the spin on my legs: “…you drive fast but you ride slow. Now pick it up TURTLE!!!”  I did what I was told . . .

Preparing for Battle

Our numbers were strong for the season opener.  We were only missing our matching kit which had just arrived in VA.  Once dawned (we will have it all by race 3), this will complete the visual and the true pressure to carry EVO forward in Europe will rest on our shoulders.  But that’s a story for later.  Right now we have to get through our first season, so back on point I go . . .

With 10 - 15 minutes to go we each made our way to the start.  I had assumed that the Jedermann group (42 riders were listed) would start separate.  WRONG!!!  We were lined up with the German C-Klasse.  For my non-Euro friends, the C-Klasse is entry-level licensed racing in Germany.  Of the 3 Classes, the Germans tend to keep the A and B classes pristine.  Once an A you stay an A but if you are a B and fail to have results, you are sent back to the C-Klasse.  This is not the US Category 5.  This is more like CAT 3/4.  The field was at least 100 if not more deep . . .

As the announcer called the Jedermann to line up near the front I over heard one guy say something that translated like, “…those are some pretty fit looking Jedermann…”  I let loose a TURTLE grin and was glad he noticed.  The Winter Pain Cave had yielded its first result.  I at least look the part of a bikeROCKstar.  Or maybe the guy was talking about someone else.  I was close by so I’ll take the complement and be happy . . .

The start was confusing even for my bad German.  My crew would ask, “TURTLE, what is he saying?”  I had no idea.  It all sounded like a teacher from Charlie Brown.  I heard a count down, saw the crowd of spandex start to roll with a few false starts and missed pedals, and off we went . . .

I shot up the first straight looking for the best line to take on the first turn.  I went outside, instinct (not sure where it came from but it happen) told me to shift before the 115° turn to ease the spin out and keep position.   Others mashed big gears and fell off as the pavement started the 20 m rise.  Oh yeah, this is what I remember . . . I could feel the pressure build as I sprinted out of the turn to keep position.

I dodged slow wheels and followed my way through the mass to move closer to the front.  It was on and I was in it as the terrain steepened ever so slightly.  My legs began to recall the Carmichael Training System (CTS) Climbing Speed DVDs loaned to me by BLINKY (James Stroud) before I went to Afghanistan in 2011.  I answered the pitch change, kept my power, and pressed ahead.  I was determined to stay in the middle of this pack and out of the wind that had picked up on the course . . .

I made turn 2 in a great position and took more prisoners as I whipped through the final turns back to the start.  First lap down in under 4 minutes with 55 minutes of racing to go.  The TURTLE sticks and new bike were all in sync. This felt good . . . really good!

But wait . . . with the throttle full open and the heat on, I was over cooking the engine.  Adrenaline was rushing through my veins and my cross check with the rest of my body was failing.  I turned a deef ear to my instruments and on on lap 2 I threw a piston, blew a gasket, and just ran out of air.  I remember this feeling too . . .

My lungs began to explode and pieces flew in the air adding to the fertiliser already covering the grounds and fields we were racing around.  The TURTLE sticks started to smoulder under the pressure.  I went past my limit.  I had failed at John Braynard’s opening lines to VeloBeats, “…on one day, at one time, you can go over your limits…” I was well over my limits and phat bill was about to come due . . .

I could not hold contact with the group I was in and started falling back.  TIPSTER was the first Teammate to head up the road…this I expected as youth would have its day and TIPSTER could bring heat.  SHAFT, who is training for Ironman Zurich was next.  His training is focused and his fitness is beyond reproach.  He was crushing it.  HAMMER followed and I was having flashbacks from last season.  DAPS, a tenacious commuter in all weather conditions came next.  This was his first race and he was giving it his all.  I was fading and losing wheel after wheel . . . UGH x 3!!!

It took another lap or two for me to settle in and recover.  I refused to go out like this.  I sacrificed hours all winter to train.  I had to suck it up  and find the strength and super glue to put the shell back together and finish this race strong . . .

Back on it!

Found a group and started working it as best I could.  I would set the tempo on the slight rise and my band of three merry men would take the pulls into the wind on the flat.  My rhythm had returned . . . TURTLE got his grove back.  I kicked the tires, relit the burner cans and pressed ahead.  Together we began moving up the field one rejected straggler at a time.  Some would join in, other would let us pass.  Forward we went as forward we had to go . . .

After about 40 minutes or so the lead group of 6 - 8 lapped the field.  These guys were on fire!  In their group I saw one cat wearing a Jedermann number . . . BEAST!!!  This must have be the guy the German was talking about as being fit.  He was rocking it!!!

Some time after that a second group with TIPSTER claimed a lap on me as I led my little group up the slight rise on the course.  His shout out of “way to lead up the climb TURTLE” gave me energy to dig deeper as I tried to latch onto his group for the remainder of the race.  It just didn’t happen . . . youth had its day and the old man TURTLE was already in his top gear.

The lap counter said 3 to go and I dug as deep as I could.  Managed to roll back up on HAMMER as we hit turn 2.  I put my head down and sought to leave nothing on the road as suggested by one of my Cycling Mentors Jay Davis and SPORT (Jeffrey Ritter) suggested I do . . .

Final lap bell rang and folks started getting cheeky.  I was amazed at guys sprinting to the finish from the back of the pack.  Bikes were rocking from side to side on the narrow farm road.  This did not look safe at all.  So, I kept my line straight and just peddled  as hard as I could to the line and stay out of the way from the crazies . . .

Crossing the line I dropped my head, said thanks to all for making this day possible and soft peddled to our team staging area to repair the damage done to my body.  My remain lung fragments were burning and my TURTLE sticks were a bit wobbly.  It was over and a time for reflection, repair and replanting was needed.  Finished 31th in my group of 42 and not sure where in the larger C-Klasse.  Our best placing for the Team was put down by our young TIPSTER who finished 23rd.

The journey from 2011 had been a rough one.  That season my race ended with a very broken TURTLE.  History shows an average of 165 watts for the race for a beaten TURTLE that would go through fire in 2012 and 2013.  Yet on this day my average was 229 watts with a normalised power (NP) of 259.  As my EVO Teammate Kent Le mention, I truly was “on the gas” the entire time.  Though crushed by the European field, this is a step up in my game and a foundation to build upon.

I will miss the second race of the series as I trade it for Mathias, West Virginia and Evolution Cycling Training Camp.  I will return for the Saturday / Sunday back-to-back efforts on 22 and 23 March.  I’ll will not redline the engine out the gate but I will run tithe throttle wide open and take as many prisoners as I can.  This will be the best year I have ever had on the bike . . .

The 2014 Season and Lanterne Rouge Season VI is in full swing . . . time to blur those red lines and bring some heat!

LANTERNE ROUGE Season VI: The Insane TURTLE

After the last race of 2013 on 3 October, I told myself I would take a month off the bike.  I would eat, drink (lots), and be an über merry TURTLE as Oktober Fest here in Germany was in full swing.  I would put the “H” back in “hang” and the “K” in “kick’n it” . . . it was going to be on like Donkey Kong!

Well, that lasted 10 days. I just could not stay away from my bike.  I am a bike addict.  It is the crack that I need to make it through a day, week, or month.  My legs craved a steady and continued fix and after 10 days I could not take the shakes any longer.  To the bike I went.  

On 13 October I started riding and soon sat down with Coach Quest (Dragon Quest Coaching) to analysed my season (it was not very pretty . . . in fact is was rather pathetic), I decided to do better, and set goals for 2014.  I started pushing chips across the table early.  I was ALL IN by the end of the first week back on the bike.

Pencil, paper, my scale (a was far from biker lean), and some higher level mathematical proofs (power to weight ratio and training consistency) revealed I needed to change my methods if I truly wanted to improve.  So I set out to do just that . . . new focus, specific goals and a plan to make it happen.

The first target was the TURTLE shell.  It needed consistent training and no excuses.  I pressed Coach Quest for a plan.  I read Coggan’s book Training and Racing with a Power Meter, I read Freil’s The Cyclist Training Bible, I dusted off my Carmichael Training System DVDs, and then I argued with my Coach time and time again when I thought the plan was not right.  I was determined to change the results of last season.  

As with most efforts, the initial steps are easy.  I watched my fitness start to climb and became addicted to the little blue line, TrainingPeaks Chronic Training Load (CTL).  I bounced ideas off my Evolution Cycling Club Brothers . . . SHAGGY (Jeff Erler), CHEWIE (Luke Majewski), DIVA (Luis Infante), and Kent.  I argued with my Coach so more, I sacrificed sleep to train, and I entered a deal of no alcohol until training camp (which is next week).  No German beer, no martinis (I am so craving one now), no evening wine down glass of lovely red.  It was all off the table.  I weighed my food and controlled my portions.  I documented what I ate . . . I got a little (really rather a lot) obsessive compulsive and would almost feel pain when I missed a workout or logging my food.  Yeah, it got crazy in the TURTLE House.

I spent countless hours in my pain cave pushing the pedals.  I flipped between 0530 starts and spins after work.  I pushed myself to remain focused and tried to embrace the trainer.  At time I felt like giving up.  It was times like this when my crew would roll in to save and motivate me to dig deeper and I did.

I also targeted my bike and snatched a replacement frame off eBay.  I cashed in a retirement account, sold all my spare parts, and asked John’s Radhaus to pimp it out.  He did just that and the rig is ready for action.  I set a plan in motion to eliminate every excuse I could have.  It would be up to my legs to deliver on the vision in my little cranium now.  It was and remains ON!!!

I plotted a plan to be race ready on or about 1 March.  I wanted to be 70 kg (started last season at 76 kg) and a CTL of 100 (last season I started the season with a CTL of 30).  I fell a bit short (71 kg, CTL of 65) but on the eve of race #1 of the Schmolke Carbon Cup and a flight to Virginia on Monday for Evolution Training Camp, I am ready as I have ever been.  My stomach is currently doing cheetah flips as I packed one bike for the plane and prepped the other to race tomorrow.

An easy spin is about to start followed by removing my beard and stubbled hair from my legs.  I believe Albert Einstein is attributed with this definition of Insanity:

“…doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…”

Well this winter I did not repeat the days, weeks, and months of winters past.  I trained over 183 hours and rode over 4500 km.  As my season starts tomorrow there are no excuses for me to list. I am expecting a different result . . . BRING IT!