LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: My Eyes Are Bigger Than My Legs -- The Deutschland Grand Prix

We last left our not-so-young TURTLE feeling über good about himself after a solid Time Trail (TT) performance at the German Zeitfahren Cup.  He even followed up the very next week shaving a full minute off his time on the local Stuttgart Local Area biCycle Riders (SLACRs) course.  Oh yeah, June was the month TURTLE would make TT history.  It was on!!!

Oh how I get ahead of myself . . .

After two good events I started a back slide.  Workouts became sporadic, work became a bit more intense, and a few stressors that I will not mention without alcohol close by began to impede on my quest for bikeROCKstar status.  I was loosing focus.  My caloric calculus was starting to reverse as I starting taking in more than I burned and my too big clothes were beginning to fit again . . . it’s almost funny how fast the body reverses it’s course when the only thing you find yourself being able to focus on is a bag of chips and a beer on the table.

But again, I digress . . .

The Deutschland Grand Prix is event 7 of 15 in the Germany Cycling Cup Series--almost half way through my season...YES!!!  The Specialize-sponsored event is a 2-day Time Trial (TT) effort with individual TTs on Day 1 and a 2-man and 4-man event on Day 2.  At the beginning of the season our DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs had long looked at this event with a desire to field two 4-man squads.  But as you can imagine, a 4-man synchronized TT effort takes time and effort in advance.  We failed to herd enough kittens to make this a reality.  We did put fourth two 2-man squads to continue our effort for recognition on the European racing scene.  The dedicate and committed few continue to ride forward . . .

After a week of good weather, Mother Nature decided the roads needed watering over the weekend.  Recalling how cold and wet I was from my first race of the season (The Zeithfahren Cup Prolog) I was not looking forward to the individual TT.  Temps were higher than last April but it was still wet out and as I mentioned above, I was out of balance.  I was digging deep to amp myself up for the day . . .

After checking into another great hotel where the owner/staff welcome cyclist with open arms and smiles, the sun shined through the clouds and the day started to get a little brighter.  The rain turned to a mist and temps stayed in the upper 50s.  This was going to be doable . . .

Finding cover I set up and got ready to make it happen.  I had to generate some heat and remind my legs what I was planning to do.  It was a struggle!  My lack of practice and focus bubbled to the surface.  I had even left my water bottles in the hotel and found myself running to a local shop in search of a bottle and fluids.  UGH!!!  This was not starting out good at all . . .

I pushed through the 20-min Team Sky TT Warm Up protocol and struggled to reach my desired Power numbers.  The warm up was not going well.  My core temp started to rise so at least the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven was working.  I just need to install a bigger light bulb one day in order to crank out a bit more than the 175 Watts I seem to fall back on on the road.  My calls to the engine room are often ignored and my little bulb tends to flicker under heavy loads.  I’m improving but still have a long way to go . . .

I finished my warmup and began my move to the start house with 15 minutes to go.  Perfect!  Like everyone else I left everything in place and focused on making it to the line.  That is one seriously KOOL ‘n da GANG thing about being here in Europe . . . no one messes with your stuff.  This was not true on the base this week as some poor soul decided to snag my Garmin 705.  I guess they needed it more than I did.  If I see some cat posting duplicate K’s and segments in Strava there will be hell to pay . . . but that is another story as well.

I was mentally prepared for the start as I made my way up to the line.  The gap between racers was 30 sec.  My eyes focused on the guy that started right in front of me.  I would repeat my last effort and then some.  Today was going to be my day.  At least this was the story I was telling myself . . .

Out the gate I went.  Making the first turn I wished I had pre-rode the route like 2 of my teammates.  I was far from smooth through the first set of turns.  Up the road I saw my 30-sec man and I was closing in.  Oh yeah . . . the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven was in full effect as power flowed through my legs.  This cat was mine!

Did I mention I should have pre-rode the course?  Well, I started up a rather long climb digging deep.  Driven by the simple pleasure of passing the guy in front of me I dug deeper.  I mashed on the gears and told my legs to give me more power.  Halfway up the rise the gap was decreasing.  Despite the rain, wet roads, and wind.  I was making it happen.  It was awesome . . .

Then it happened . . .

I over heated the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven and burred the cupcake!  My heartrate soared over 190 bpm.  Hitting my genetic upper limit -- I blew a fuse.  In fact, I blew multiple fuses before cresting the climb as my internal circuit panel lit up like a Christmas Tree.  My 30-sec man began to pull away.  I was cooked, the cupcake was burned, and still had 25 K of racing to do.  The suffer factor was now on . . . my eyes were bigger than my legs and I was paying for it with every pedal stroke.

A Partially Cooked TURTLE

I took about 5 K to recover and push my lung back into my chest.  At this point I was humbled as folks started passing me.

I took the lesson, settled into my groove and got back on it.  Making the turn around, I pushed hard (close to but not over the redline) to get a negative split.  I had to redeem some portion of my dignity.  On the way back I spotted another piece of my lung on the side of the road.  I left it there as a memorial . . .

My finish reminded me of the World Championship TT in which I finished 79th out of 81.  Here I was 40-something out of 40-something.  I was not last but very close to it.  UGH!!!  Not what I wanted or expected.  Need to regain my focus and get back on it . . .

I took a few verbals from my Coach that added to my lesson on the day.  Dragon Quest Coaching was not happy with my effort either.  I manned up as best I could and made a promise I would redeem myself on Day 2.  It would just have to happen . . . no excuses.

At this point I really need to give serious props to Doni Anderson.  The lone female racer on our crew finished her individual TT in a complete downpour.  She showed true mental toughness.  I need some of that . . .

After a free open air concert from a local band, Day 2 of the Grand Prix started GRAND!  The sun was out, the temps were up, and I knew what to expect from the course.  Redemption time!!!

I was paired up with Jeff HAMMER Pannaman.  HAMMER finished 7 minutes ahead of me on the individual TT.  We had practiced a few time together but still lacked true elegance on the road.   We were a very sad set of spandex covered unsynchronized swimmers.  But at least we were in matching kit!!!

It was impressive to see the 4-man teams line up and roll out.  This will remain out goal for next season but we had to get through today first!

HAMMER and I warmed up out of the sun and between intervals on the trainer, we discussed the course.  I would attempt to lead up the climbs, not blow up, and leverage HAMMER’s power on the flat sections.  I would take pulls when I could to give him a break.  It was all good in theory . . .

We made our way to the start and were off.  I took the first pull and got us through the first set of turns.  We started up the long climb and I geared accordingly.  I could not afford to blow a fuse today.  HAMMER on the other hand was on fire!  He had a great warmup and it showed.  He would pull away from me on almost every pull.  I had serious trouble pulling through.  I was on the edge of my limit and he was not even in the yellow.  He was a BEAST!

HAMMER making it look easy!

Before the turn around we were caught by the group behind us and then another.  HAMMER yelled, “there goes 1st . . . there’s 2nd...we are still on the podium TURTLE...let’s go!”

I was crushed when the 3rd group passed us.  HAMMER yelled, "...Darn it, we are off the podium now!"  Unable to contribute, I was holding HAMMER back...UGH!!!  We paired a Ford Escort up with a BMW and it was just not working.  However, forward I went.  “We” had to finish . . .

The turn around was a 14% down hill, around a church, and back up.  I was doing my best to cook any descent to make up time.  At the turn around I overbaked a turn, locked up my rear wheel and started a Tokyo Drift towards the curb.  With Hammer a few meters behind me I thought to myself, “...this was going to leave a mark!”

Though only an Angel’s pity, I did not lay the bike down, I regained control finished the turn and started up the climb with HAMMER leading the way through a flurry of cow bells and cheers.  There was an announcer in the crowd and our names and team name was called out across the speaker system.  Words of encouragement followed yelling “GO! GO! GO!” over the speaker system.  This was amateur racing with a pro feel . . . it was AWESOME!!!

My "One" good pull!

HAMMER was still on fire and called out the terrain and turns.  I found some spare Watts and took a few pulls as we headed for home.  We hit the final crest with 2 K to go and let it fly.  We finished 3 min slower than HAMMER’s solo effort and 4+ min faster than mine.  I gave over 100% in the effort.  I was cooked from head to toe . . . HAMMER was barely breaking a sweat.  Did I not say he is a BEAST!

Thanks to HAMMER we were not last.  However our 56+ min time was a long way from the 47+ min winners.  These cats averaged 43+ kph over the course.  This is “Jedermann” (everyone) racing . . . AMAZING.  I had truly underestimated the level of competition of this field.  This may not be the major leagues but it is not the minors either.  

The head of the German amateur cycling effort spoke the day prior and praised such events as great places to compete.  That is true and then some . . .

We are half way through the season now and I am reflecting on what I can do better next year.  I need to get my focus back and finish stronger in order to build a platform to move up next season.  I refuse to let setbacks blur my vision.  Delays will happen but my quest for bikeROCKstar status will continue.  My legs will catch up to my eyes one day and I will finish in the top of the pack if not on the podium  Of this I remain certain . . .

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: The Price of 30 Seconds -- German Zeitfahren Cup 2 of 3

The week prior provided a break in the German Cycling Cup schedule and it was much appreciated.  My weight was continuing to come down it was all goodness.  Hitting 72kg put me below my College weight.  It was pure justice when Claudia handed me a pair of jeans from her son ( stands about 6’1” and weighs a lean/skinny 64kg) and they fit with room to spare.  I was now close to race weight (or a diet intervention) and my power numbers were still coming up.  A light, lean, and possibly lethal TURTLE was in the making . . .

BUILDING TURTLE POWER!

A true break from racing was not in the cards as the next event on my list was the second Time Trial in the German Zeitfahren Cup.  Recall I broke the racing silence with the wet, cold and short Prolog that just about crushed me out the gate.  This was a 25 km effort and I wanted to redeem myself, I was motivated and hungry (literally) . . .

My TT position on the bike has been identified by a cast of critics as needing work.  So in pure TURTLE engineering fashion I starting building up and new rig and had hoped to work on that.  Half way through the build I realized I was missing tools necessary to pull parts off of one bike to put them on another.  And of course no one carries Campagnolo tools locally.  Thus to the web I went and orders were placed.  I am now at the mercy of the mailman and practicing patience as I try to sell off old parts to cover my increasing cycling debt.  I’m on the negative side of this algebraic equation and getting worse.  My debt ratio is becoming logarithmic . . .

So left with my current TT rig I set out to practice a 25 km effort on the trainer as rain continued to poor across Germany.  The winning time for the TT was 32 minutes and some change.  My results on the trainer just about set me into therapy.  I know I have a little TURTLE engine but this was a crazy 53 min+.  The officials will have dismantled the course by the time I finished.  This did not look good.  I thought about trying to modify my position on the bike among all the plates I was spinning, this task drew the short straw and was voted off the island.  Bad position and shoulders that require consistent physical therapy (that I was not doing) and all aside . . . I did not make it a priority and I had to just make it work.  Brute force at its best . . .

Mentally battered and a one of the few days of sun this season drove me out of my pain cave to the roads.  What started as an easy spin for an hour or two led to a 100K solo coffee shop ride.  It was awesome and much needed.  It reminded me why I ride and was cheaper than paying for therapy session (again).  Coin saved, debt ration spared more negative influence . . . YES!!!

As the rain started yet again, I decided to not attempt another indoor TT effort and pulled out one of the Chris Carmichael Progressive Power Series DVDs to break up the madness.  Class 9: Time Trailing caught my eye and to the bike I went . . . it was brutal!  During the final interval the moderator had us focus on the individual that started 30 sec ahead and run them down.  I started burning this image in my cornea.  I wanted this.  I pushed through and finished feeling energized.  I was going to have my best TT ever . . .

The DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs split into to camps for the weekend.  Coach Quest and our latest addition and first female member to the squad Doni Anderson went joined me for the TT in Rosdorf.  HAMMER (Jeff Pannaman) and DIESEL (Matt Arant) rolled to Schleiz for race 5 of 15 in the German Cycling Cup and 140 km of climbing fun.
 
The drive to Rosdorf was a 4+ hr effort and I planned to overnight (more coin = further in debt).  So after sleeping in on Saturday I took off heading North.  Original plan entailed driving the truck up w/ two rigs to allow for a spin on the course and leg opener.  Yet the rain was still coming down in buckets and I opted for my car and off I went with a little lunch bag from Claudia that included a small bottle of red wine.  Life was good!

There was a section of road that was off the Autobahn and went through a town.  I did not recall this at all.  As I approached the traffic light, I glazed over to my GPS and experienced a Batman “BAM!”

Taking a Face Shot

I rolled right into the car in front of me.  While only a “love tap” it was enough to break my license plate holder and make nice work of the grill on my 2012 Mercedes Benz C300.  The cost of racing just went nuclear!  I was thankful the guy was Kool ‘n da Gang about the bump.  We exchanged insurance info, cards, and I push on towards Rosdorf . . . crying (literally).

Arriving in Göttingen, I met up with Coach Quest and after checking in to my hotel we set out to pre-drive the course before dinner.  In the three seasons I have raced, this was the first time I have ever done something like that.  Having Coach Quest there to talk through the course was awesome.  We looked at the terrain and noticed the open areas and even in the light misting rain, the wind was noticeable.  It was going to be a factor . . .

At dinner we talked about the TT and my need to learn to suffer more on the bike.  DIVA (Luis Infante) and CHEWIE (Luke Majewski) had often said the same to me.  They were all right . . .

Post breakfast I laid on my bed and watched videos from my Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long & Foster crew.  The CRIT practice and Ride Sally Ride Criterium video from Kent Le were putting me in the racing mindset.  I prep’d my wheels and searched for a small farm animal to sacrifice on the makeshift altar I had build before them.  I need them to carry me through the howling wind and put my best effort forward . . .

Preparing for TT Battle

Coach and I rolled into the start area and begin I set my trainer up for my warmup.  The temps were in the 40s to low 50s and the wind blew my bike over.  I was regretting not bringing my second set of wheels as running a disc may be more of a negative than a positive . . . my Algebra was once again being tested in public and I was failing to achieve a passing grade.

I started my warm up routine following the TEAM Sky TT Warm Up routine.  I have practiced it a number of times and the ramp up to Zone 5 usually leaves me spent.  But not this time . . . I stated the ramp up as The Pride by Five Finger Death Punch hit my iPod: 
(I am) what you fear most, (I am) what you need
(I am) what you made me, (I am) the American dream
I'm not selling out, I'm buying in

This was the best warm up in a long time.  The last time I had a good warm up like this was during the RFK Stadium Criterium in 2009.  I finished 12 that day and could have done better if I knew how to Sprint.  But that is history and this is the present and at present, I was pump’d!

With 15 minutes to spare I answered nature, finished getting dressed (to include my make up), slammed a HAMMER gel, got the bike off the trainer, and did a few efforts up and down the road behind the starting block.  Five Finger Death Punch kept rolling through my head . . . 
I will not be forgotten, this is my time to shine
I've got the scars to prove it, only the strong survive
I'm not afraid of dying, everyone has their time
I've never favored weakness, welcome to the pride

I was amazingly calm as I hit the start gate…almost weird.  I am usually on the edge of freaking out.  I quickly got up to speed and settled into my groove.  In turn one I passed a guy.  Not sure if he was racing or just on the course.  However passing him was a shock to my system.  I am the one that is usually passed in a TT.  I could see more cats up the road and looked down to see I was pushing at 300 Watts.  There was no way I could keep this output up so I pulled it back to my 200 range and marked the folks up the road.

I began closing in on folks as I was passed by the first of 3 riders.  The last was wearing number 47 . . . I was wearing number 43 so quick math indicated that this guy made up 2 minutes on me.  This was the last guy to pass me as I passed 3 other riders on my own.  I did not look at their numbers as I had marked the one jersey ahead and he was my target . . .

Making the turn for the second lap of the course and back into a cross wind, my target was in striking range.  At this point I did not care and started burning matches left and right of centerline.  I was determined to even burn the wet ones to catch this cat . . .

On the last stretch before the final run to the finish I caught my target.  He was wearing number 42 and had started 30 seconds in front of me.  He attempted to challenge my passing and I burned the last wet match to put a stop to the psychological warfare.  It worked and away I went burying it to the finish.  I was only slowed by a car that came onto the course and stopped right in front of me.  I sat up to break, maneuver and push to the finish.

WIND IS NOT MY FRIEND!

While my time was far from impressive at almost 42 minutes (winning time was 32 and change) it was my best effort on the bike to date with an intensity factor (IF) of over 1 (100%).  I left nothing on the road (…except puke).

The new tool orders, the time spent traveling 4+ hrs, the gas, the meals, the hotel, the new wheel covers, race registration, the insurance deductible for my car, and my poor TT position all went into a higher level math equation to put a price tag on what it took for me to cover 30 seconds.  The answer to my hypothesis is . . .

Priceless!

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: The Fast and Furious (East) Germans

German Cycling Cup Race 4 of 15, the Neuseen Classics, sent two lone DragonQuest Racers to the former East German town of Zwenkau.  Only DIESEL (Matt Arant) and I would step up to tackel the 140 km course.

Although the wall fell many moons ago, you can still catch a glimpse of that Cold War architectural style . . . grey blocks with a splash of modern color to cover the past.  But that is another story all together.

Coach Quest (on our Disabled Rider List) joined me on the drive up bringing 2 extra bikes and a frame.  We were going to build a bike and hopefully get it on the road during this “Mancation” away from our women.  Bike building is a great way to spend the evening getting ready for a race.  Or so we thought so more on that later . . .

We were impressed by the relatively new stretches of Autobahn and pushed through the drive with no issues.  Other than a “Smile for the Camera” red flash known to all that speed in Europe.  How dare they upset my drive like that?  A speed trap on new road?  This is not Texas!  This is the land of the Autobahn.  Darn former East German . . . the ticket will come out of my cycling kitty--OUCH!!!

Anyway . . . we rolled into our rather cold war looking accommodations and were immediately greeted by a staff that had us laughing within minutes.  No cold, stoic, harden former East Germans here.  These cats were KOOL ‘n da GANG.  Folks I could sit and have multiple beers with . . . yet I had to get my racing face on so it would have to wait.

Suffering from another case of being lost in translation, we arrived at our “doubleroom” at the Alpha Appart Hotel in Rötha to find two (twin) small beds pushed together.  Without hesitation I dropped my bags to perform a Moses and split the two units.  Coach and I are close but snuggling on our Mancation was not an option . . .

We quickly grabbed grub at the hotel restaurant and after Coach took a small lashing for not finishing his plate, we starting building a bike.  We then suffered another setback as the part I thought I had covered down on was the wrong one.  UGH!!! I was not liking this at all.  Multiple setbacks can ruin even a Happy TURTLE Vibe.  Yet we pressed on . . .

Before turning in we check my show time, did math in public, and tried to get some rest.  As I enter cycling dream land I thought all was good.  But in fact I was sadly mistaken . . .

Got the first wake-up call at 0430 by a few ANGRY BIRDS camped out in the quad between the Cold War stone.  Panic set in as the light outside made me think I had overslept.  I fumble for my iPhone to check the time and fumbled more to the window and looked for something to throw but the only thing close were my cycling cleats and I needed those.  So I slammed the window, wrapped a pillow over my ears and tried to get back to sawing logs . . . it worked.

AM grub, 10 min of meditation, and out the door Coach and I went.  And this is where the wheels started to come off the bus.  Roads leading to the Start/Finnish were already closed.  Our GPS was in such a constant “Recalculating” that my cranium started spinning.  Four+ hours on the road not to race?  UGH again.  The demons were trying to gang up on me.  I could not let that happen. 
So we parked, I grabbed some HAMMER PERPETEUM holly watermix, my bike, gear and decided to push to the Start/Finnish . . .

Well now . . , a closed road to vehicle traffic is ALSO a close road to bike traffic.  The 0900 block had started and I could not ride back on the course until the last guy went by.  More panic as I tried to calculate time, distance, and the Theory of Relativity to determine if I would make it to the Start/Finnish before my 0930 start Block.  I was starting to get worried as my Garmin showed a local time of 0915 before the Policeman let myself and a few other roll . . .

I got to the Start/Finish with 5 min to spare.  YEAH!!!  Happy TURTLE Dance on the pedals.  I sorted out my group and got in line.  My one Teammate was in BLOCK A.  I was in BLOCK C.  Not the back of the bus (that was BLOCK E) but not the front either.  However, I lined up behind 6 cats w/ legs like tree trunks from Team “Steile Wand” . . . these cats were BEASTS!!! 

As we rolled through the start, I moved up the outside and started to work my way up the field.  I could see a group ahead and I actually could see the lead car in front of BLOCK A.  Talk about motivation . . . my legs were feeling awesome as I jumped and push across a few gaps.  I wanted to catch that group!!!  Things were going well for the first 15 min until I found myself unable to close a gap and in “no mans land” between groups and a heavy wind.

Then the 6 Ponies from Steile Wand came cruising by.  I jumped on the train in position 9 and caught the wave.  The clip was awesome and these cats were working like clock work in a double pace line.  The organization and precision was pure German and I decided to ride this wave.  At one point we were going about 38 - 40 kph and the young guy next to me asked if I would go with him on a break.  I was unwilling to give up my free ride and decided to pass.  The kid and another two cats went . . . we caught them 2 k later.

Cats in the back were actually complaining about the tempo being to slow.  I was trying not to laugh or come across as a smart ass with a comment like . . . “if you want to go faster, get yourself up to the front and pull” . . .

My 6 Little Ponies were covering course.   We dropped to single file to blow by a group and then formed right back up once past.  I executed my instructions from Coach Quest, “...if a strong group passes you, pedal harder!”

I told myself I would not loose contact with this group and dug deep to stay in it on little rises and through turns.  Being near the front I picked solid lines, shifted, and pedaled out of the turns to stay on it.  On one such turn A cat tried to move up the outside and took the guy in front of me down.  That sad sound of carbon, aluminum, and bodies hitting the road was just over my left shoulder.  I pedal through and we kept pressing forward.

At 70 K some cats that had been riding the wave jumped, the Ponies went and so did I.  They lost one in their group but I kept on it as I was determined not to loose my free ride just yet.  Then all of a sudden the Start/Finnish was in front of me.  I looked down to see 77 km on my Garmin . . . UGH yet again!!!  I lined up with the wrong group.  I was supposed to do the 140 K route.  I just got an “F” in math . . . my Kung Fu had just failed me.

My legs felt strong, I had more in the tank.  I was mentally and physically prepared. for 140K. However, I failed to plan properly and thus I planned to fail.  A later look at the race documentation showed that my Start Time was 0900 and not 0930.  How did I miss that?  UGH to the nth power!!!

TURTLE and The Steile Wand Ponies

 
Yet, I rode my best even in the series thus far averaging over 37 kph for the two hours.  I look forward to the next set of races with even more conviction now.  I have Time Trials the entire month of June and need to bring it a lot stronger than I have in the past as I will miss two races in the German Cycling Cup series.   Yet I am mentally ready for it all.  Despite a few setbacks for learning the racing scene here in Germany, my quest for bikeROCKstar status remains on track.

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: Make way for the Broom Wagon -- All Hail!

I recall the words of my first cycling Coach Bill Gros as I tried to start the 2011 season after a failed 2010 season, “...it takes 3 to 5 years to develop as a cyclist.  Missing 2010 starts you back at year 1...”

With two races in the 15 event series for the German Cycling Cup under my belt, I looked forward to race 3, the “Rund um Köln-Challenge” . . . basically “Around Cologne - Challenge” like no other.  The venue was set to provide 124 km (77 miles) and 1390 m (4560 ft) of climbing.  I was going to race my way into the best shape of my life.  It was on and Dragon Quest Coaching was helping . . .

YUM!

Claudia and I rolled 4+ hrs North to the wonderful city of Köln and the magical mixture of Kölsch beer with a day to spare.  Having visited Köln before, I was determined not to indulge (too much) as I remained focused on a mission and purpose.  I was light, lean, and faking lethal.  I had 2 of the 3 great components and hoped few would know my secret . . . “...fake it ‘til you make it...”

So after a day in town I went to sleep putting my game face on.  Showers had come and gone a few times during the day and the weather forecast for Sunday indicated an 82% chance of rain.  I almost did a back flip when I woke and saw the chance was only 50%.  I will take those odds any day.  I am the king of the coin toss and actually passed many exams when flipping a coin to determine whether or not to choose answer B or C . . . C always won!

As I rolled out of from the hotel I almost gave Claudia my cycling jacket.  The roads were dry and the temps right around 50.  This was perfect!  Yet the cycling gods knew better and after listening to the little angle at my side I took the jacket w/ me as I rolled to meet my 2 DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs teammates . . . HAMMER (Jeff Pannaman) and DIESEL (Matt Arant) . . .

I was able to hook up w/ DIESEL as we were both slated in the same start block.  HAMMER was two blocks behind so mentally I told myself I had to ride my backside off to stay in front of him.  Over the first two courses HAMMER’s time has been consistently 30 min or more faster than the TURTLE . . . BEAST!  I need to stay up the road and when he came through I would jump on and ride the wave.  Or so I thought . . .

In the minutes before the start a light rain started.  I was thankful that I had my jacket and quickly put it on as we started our slow roll to the start line.  The announcer started his countdown and as soon as the start gun was fired it started hail pellets started playing “Stairwell to Heaven” on my helmet and top tub.  First few meters into a 124 km ride . . . this was going to be epic!!!

For about the first 10 minutes we rode through hail and then rain at a near rocket pace out the gate.  Riders were all over the road to avoid painted lines, cross railway tracks without falling, and just not loose the wheel in front as you ate dirt.   At some point I lost DIESEL and settled into my groove as the climbing would start 10K (6 miles) into the race.   I figured I would join a group and catch up with him.  However that did not happen.  He settled into his own groove and motored forward . . .
We got through 1500 ft of climbing in the first 2 hours and I was riding my best despite the weather conditions.  We even went up a cobblestone section that sent many to their feet to walk up the incline.  I dug deep not to fall and pressed forward.  My legs were working it . . .

However, my hands were starting to freeze.  I soon lost feeling in my finger tips (it’s now 4 days later and I still don’t have feeling in a few fingers--crazy I know).  It was at this point my hands just stop working.  Shifting became a chore, breaking even more so.  And I still had 2 hrs and another 60K to go.  I have to dig deep into the TURTLE shell . . .

About 3 hours in the sun finally gave way but it was only a tease.  It later hid and was replaced by more rain and more hail.  It was at this point I was hoping for something to go wrong on my bike, someone to run into me, or someone to just catch me when I fell.  I was starting to break.  What started as cracks in the TURTLE shell were becoming large rips and crevices.
 
At the 4 hour mark and about 15K from the finish the official car rolled up along side me and announce that the race was over and the roads were now open for traffic.  I could keep riding or get in the bus.  I turned to the guy next to me and for some reason said, “I’m not getting in that bus!” . . . Wet, cold, and equally broken he responded, “Me neither...”

So the Broom Wagon was on my 6.  As it and a vehicle full of bikes passed, it was packed.  Faces were pressed up against the window showing the resultant pain and misery from the weather conditions.  I started the mental gymnastics in my cranium to motivate and propel me forward.  I had to finish.  The cracks and tears in the TURTLE shell would heal and I would one day get warm so ahead I pushed.

Still Faking It!

Having to now stop for lights and traffic drug the last 15K out.  As I rolled up to the finish the course was closed for a U23 (under 23) circuit race.  Thus I had to pick my way along the barriers to the end of the course with a rag tag group of other broken cats that refused the bus . . . we were even talking trash now.

I made it to the finish and to my surprise there was Claudia.  She had braved the weather and best of all she had a piece of Apfelkuchen.  I devoured it with my frozen fingers in defiance of the Broom Wagon!

Next event is 140 km (~87 miles) but a lot less climbing.  Hope the feeling in my fingers returns soon.  But it really does not matter as the TURTLE shell is repaired and I have a race to do . . .

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: Let’s be Frank -- German Cycling Cup 2 of 15

“Racing my way into form...” Well that is what I told my tired and sore legs as I starting packing for the trip up to Frankfurt, Germany for the Škoda Velotour.  This was set as my 3rd event in 5 days.  Oh yeah, I was taking it up a notch...

In truth, I wanted to bail.  But that’s when notions of being stronger as a Team came to view.  Jeff HAMMER Pannaman was not only going to Frankfurt, he was determined to break the 3hr mark over the 104 km course (http://ridewithgps.com/routes/2432122). He is da HAMMER!!!

This was also set as the first event that Claudia would attend.  She has watched and supported me on long training rides in sub-zero temps, some rides in the rain, as well as time on my trainer in my pain cave.  I needed to prove that it was all worth it.  Thus I could not back out and North we went . . .

The night prior we met up w/ friends of Claudia's . . . Stefi and Stefan.  Two über KOOL ‘n da GANG cats that I most certainly want to hang out w/ again.  They took us to a sweet joint and I had to be good by holding back.  My mouth would water each time I heard the Martini Shaker do it’s little dance.  Discipline, discipline, DISCIPLINE!!!  The pain, the misery, the anguish.  I needed a Dirty Martini like no other.  In fact, I think I will go make one right now . . . JUST KIDDING!!!

But I am digressing (again) . . . we got to our apartment at a reasonable hour and I starting putting on my race makeup in my dreams.  1 May is a German holiday and everything was set to be closed.  However, our hotel ensured I had breakfast early and the elderly woman in the kitchen said, “...eat up, you have a long day...”  That was the last motivation I needed.  It was on . . .

My hotel was a short (less than 5K) ride to the marshaling area.   Once again I was impressed by the organization of the event.  Entire roads were closed to include highways.  There were over 4000 cyclist and also a group of serious in-line skaters competing in a separate event.  A U23 race and a Pro race was scheduled for the afternoon.  The air was full of speed...super sweet bikes, and cats ready to compete.  Our DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs had only two cats on the starting line...we need to bring a lot more next year.  This is a must event . . .

There was no neutral roll out like the Tour ‘Energie,  You rolled from your starting “Block” (HAMMER and I were once again near the back of the bus in Block G) and it was on.  The course started fairly flat and we picked our way through the early riders looking for good wheels.  Within minutes HAMMER pulled away w/ a faster group and set into his groove to break the 3hr mark.  I too found a group and started working my way through this early section of the course.  I was surprised that my legs were not telling me to stop.  Somehow the pain from the weekend was gone and I was on it as hard as my current level of fitness would allow . . .

At the base of the climb I took a mental beat down as riders swarmed past me.  I need to not let that happen as it need to do more than get a passing grade in this mental calculus.  I need to excel!!!  I settled into my grove and started picking folks off as best I could.  The climb up to Feldberg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gro%C3%9Fer_Feldberg) was epic.  The summit sits at 878 m (that 2880 ft) and was the longest climb I have ever done in my life!  And we were racing up this beast . . . CRAZY!!!

My heart rate once again took a seat on the top shelf and my legs started screaming about half way up the ascent.  But forward I went as there were no other options available . . .

Cresting the highest peak in the Taunus Mountains was pure happiness.  However, the race was far from over as I still had 50k of road to cover.  The remaining route was far from flat.  It entailed a few shorter climbs and I was determined to not leave an once of TURTLE on the road.
 
I found another group and took my turn keeping the pace as high as we could.  On one such pull the guy taking his turn buried it so hard I felt my legs approach the snap off point.  I motioned and asked for a little help and two gals from our group closed the gap.  Humble pie was served . . .

I drifted to the back of our group of 10 to recover a bit and look for pieces of my crushed manhood . . . I found nothing.  It was a little sad but a reminder that I once made this work and I will make it work again.

There were no markings on the road to tell you how far to the finish.  I looked down at my computer, did some quick math in public (at least my brain was still working) to subtract my ride to the start and figured I had 15k to go.  I topped off fluids, got deep in the drops, moved through my group of 10 and went for wheels up the road.  It was time to get this done . . .

The finish once again took us along the highway and then into the finishing shoot.  HAMMER had finished 30 minutes ahead of me and brook the seal on getting in the top 200 of our age group.  Claudia was with him at the finish as they searched for the lost TURTLE.  I’m told that Claudia yelled “Sweetie” to any slightly tanned guy w/ a beard . . .

DONE . . . and we even got BLING!

But across the line I soon came finishing a little over 600 deep in my age group of 810 finishers
(about 25 cats in this group did not finish).  I was surprisingly still fairly springy.  It felt like I had more in the tank to offer.  That feeling faded 5 min after my shower.  With Claudia driving to find substance to feed my body, I cured into a fetal position in the car and back into my shell . . .

“Frank” (http://tpks.ws/lIwD) came close to crushing the TURTLE Shell but in the end he did not.  The Shell is stronger, my power numbers are coming back up, I am racing myself into a European  road racing form.  It will come.  12 May is 126K of greatness in the beautiful city of Köln (Cologne).  Event 3 of 15 in the series and I will soon break the 200 mark.  So it is written, so will it be done . . .

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: 100K of Pure Energy -- German Cycling Cup 1 of 15

About half way through the Team 7-Eleven book Drake, the author, makes a statement on the difference between racing in Europe (longer road events) and the US (fast ‘n furious criteriums).  I was reminded of that difference in spades last Sunday . . .

The Tour d’Energie (http://www.tourdenergie.de/) is the 100 km (60 mile) opener for the German Cycling Cup (http://cycling-cup.de/) and 1 of 15 events held on 28 Apr this year.  The day prior served as my rebirth to racing with the Time Trial Prolog of the German Zeitfahrcup.  However the Tour d’Energie was a rather step up to the grown up table from eating in the kitchen.  TT’s are you against the clock . . . road races/events are you against everybody else.  The course profile (http://ridewithgps.com/routes/2052078) alone gave me reason to question my decision making process.  And being on the “martini madness wagon” to train, I could not use alcohol as an excuse for stepping up to this event . . .

As lean as I am (and getting leaner each day--hope to turn sideways and disappear soon…JUST KIDDING…maybe), I have never been a strong climber and this event had a few bumps in the road.  But true to my purpose this season, if you are going to talk about being a bike racer I have to do more than just dress like one, I have to race.  So to the road I went . . .

Similar to the prior event, our band of American riders had initially discussed a race strategy and possible team tactics.  Being our first event out the gate we later through caution to the wind and suggested that we stay together if we can but let the stronger riders do their thang and plow forward.  And this is exactly what the cats did…but more on that in a moment.

Recall my comments on German rules and precision…having no posted times in the German record books (Germans keep excellent records…helps enforce the rules), we were grouped in the last of 8 start groups.  After some discussion and hand waving translations we figured out we could move back but not forward and rallied to start in Block G.  Technology failed us and one of our riders was all alone in Block F.  Thus we were reminded of the “shoot, move, communicate” rules of engagement.  It hopefully will not happen again . . .

Being at the back of the bus, it took almost 45 minutes to start rolling.  This would crush any warm up routine as we are expected to be in place and ready to roll prior to the first group of riders to start.  And of course we did not risk trying to sneak forward.  We feared the question, “Where are your papers?” and disqualification like no other . . . rules, rules, rules

The Tour d’Energie began w/ a neutral roll out.  If you look at my race data (http://www.trainingpeaks.com/av/KUBK7TIYNILPXKBSFIRB2KRRE4) it was a bit faster than neutral.  I was quickly reminded that turning in a large group of beginners is not easy.  Cats slow down to turn and lines are lost.  It is basically an accident waiting to happen.  On one such slow down I heard breaks lock up and tires skid behind me.  It was followed by the all too familiar sound of carbon and aluminum hitting the ground.  OUCH!!!  I pressed on w/ one of our top cats, Justin Creech, right behind me to ensure I was not part of the madness . . .

Once we passed the official “GO” line, my heart rate jump’d to the top of my frequency band and had a seat.  My first road race in 2 years was on and turning back was not an option . . .
The field began to spread apart in little lines and clusters.  I lost contact with my American crew and drove on.  My personal strategy was to stay out of the wind as much as possible.  However, this did not work well for me at all as I could not match the early burst out the gate.  I was going backwards as waves of carbon, aluminum, some steel and colorful spandex shot past me.  This was going to be a long day . . .

After about an hour I started to settle in.  I found a few groups and motioned to try to get a pace line going.  It went well for a while.  The first series of rollers took a toll on me and I snapped off the back like a pretzel my little legs went.  I would dig a little deeper, catch someone, recover, and catch the next guy.  I would jump on trains as they went by and hold the wheel as long as I could.  Some worked, most did not . . .

On the middle section of the course and the one flat portion before the climb I found myself “alone and afraid” . . . exactly what I did not want prior to the first big climb.  Yet the spandex and carbon gods took pity on me and 3 cats in like kit rolled up and as they passed I jumped in.  This time it worked.  The 4 of us worked the tempo hard and picked up a train of folks.  It was awesome and I felt like a bike racer once again.  YES!!!

A Climbing TURTLE

We hit the climb and I gapped the guys as I settled into my own groove.  The first climb was long and tough.  The second one had a mini-spring challenge.  Both crushed me but I dug in to make it up and over both.  The roads were chalked w/ notes to riders and teams . . . and it will have one to our group next year!  I made that promise as I crested the top and drove past those stopping to refill water bottles.

The 3 cats that carried me through the flats caught me on the decent of the second climb.  We regrouped and started to drill home.  My legs were screaming to let up.  But for some strange reason I could not.  They would not.  I took hard pulls on the front, drifted back in our group to recover, and took another turn when my time was called.  It was on and I was in the middle of it . . . THIS WAS PURE GOODNESS!!!

The final 1 K looked like a scene from a Pro race.  Barricades were up on each side of the street, folks were cheering and legs were on fire.  It was awesome and then some . . .

My official time for the event was 3:18 and change.  Goal was under 3 hrs.  I have work to do.  Glad I have 14 more races to get it done.  This is my cycling year; this is my cycling time . . . BRING IT!

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: Breaking the Silence in Time and Space -- Time Trial 1/3 on 27 April 13 -- DONE!

A lot of time has passed since I started this effort. It is finally time to break my silence and end my drought and continue to span each of you with words . . .

After a 2-year break from bike racing I wondered into the deep end of the pool by testing myself on the European (German) racing scene.  I had long talked about doing this.  I even dreamed about it from time to time (w/ and w/o the influence of German beer---which is VERY, VERY, VERY good).

Attempts to get this going last year were all a bust as I hard to really squeeze together serious brain juice to understand the  Bund Deutscher Radfahrer e. V. (BDR) -- the German Cycling Federation.  The Germans follow rules to the letter . . . and they have a lot of them.  One needs a PhD to understand some of this stuff.  However, I turned to my good friend Mr. Google (translate), my broken conversational German, and a few beers and all was good.  I made phone calls, I wrote emails (in English), I canvassed the net.  I increased my mental capacity and gain knowledge.

But in short, Germany does not allow individual race licenses like in the US.  One must belong to a “Club” and call me stupid for being so loyal, I was not ready to jump in w/ a German club out the gate and kick Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long & Foster to the curb.  I thought I could race w/ my USA Cycling CAT 4 license if I picked up the international fee . . . NO JOY!!!  All “Internationals” are place in the A-Klasse.  Germany has 3 Klassen, or Classes,  A - C.  The A-Klasse is CAT 1/2 and I am not there . . . YET!  In fact, some one say I am back to a CAT 5(-) but that is another story . . .

So I joined a group of Americans stationed here and formed a small team called DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs.  The Stuttgart Local Area biCycle Riders (SLACRs) is a group I started w/ my old cycling friend X-MANN (Adam Piceno) back in 2005.  It lasted my time in the US thanks to two great cats . . . Jenn Call and IRON MAN great Marty Smith.  The DragonQuest Racers are coached and led by Eric Cole of Dragon Quest Coaching, a former USA Cycling CAT 3.  He is our rock.

But back to the rule following Germans . . .

Germany has a number of events call “Jedermannrennen” or “everybody races”  These are unlicensed events that allow C-Klasse racers but not A or B.  SWEET!  A taste of European racing w/o having to join a club.  Just what we were after.  We are beginners, the C-Klasse are beginners, this is going to be a blast.  We are going to crush these cats . . .

Our DragonQuest Racer crew selected two series, the Zeitfahrcup (http://personal-sports.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=25&Itemid=54), a Time Trial Series and the German Cycling Cup (http://www.cycling-cup.de/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=87&Itemid=4), a 15 event road series (with a TT weekend just to spice things up).

We made plans, we strategized, we researched, we set up training plans and efforts, we prepared.  I read the 7-Eleven book for inspiration and we even held a little training camp.  We practiced pace lines, we hit the gym, we rode together when we could. We were preparing for battle.  I starting paying closer attention to DIVA and CHEWIE (two Evolution teammates) . . . I started tracking my food intake, I cut weight, I was growing lean...my power numbers were coming up.  Health and life set my training back but I bounced through it.  I was going to make this happen . . .

Well, at least I thought I was . . . positive talk is a force multiplier and thanks to Hans (anther Evolution teammate) I had plenty to spare.

I recall using this before but it is most fitting here, especially given that this all takes place in Germany . . .

It was Helmuth Karl Bernhard Graf von Moltke, a 19th century Germany field Marshall that is quoted as once saying “no plan survives contact with the enemy” . . . my plan did not!

My first encounter with European racing was the Zeitfahrcup (Time Trial Series) Prolog.  I looked at the rather flat course and mentally told myself I would crush it.  It was just under 5K.  I figure out an estimate of my final time and set off to get recognized.  I had my homemade TT rig, a TT helmet, and a disk.  I looked fast . . . well as fast as a TURTLE can look.

Well . . . I think was recognized alright.  My fellow Americans and I were the only ones to shout out as our riders went off the starting block.  We took a few stares for that.  However, it is what we do.

We were immediately impressed by the precision of the event.  Registration, timing, post event food, and more.  The only thing missing was good WX.  It was cold and rainy.  It sucked big time!!!  I’ve never raced in a cold rain.  I kept telling myself to “suck it up buttercup.”  But this did not help me get warm.  I was shaking at the start and it got worse . . .

I could not get on top of my gears.  I tried to stay aero but show have gotten on the horns for the grade.  School was in session and I was not passing the grade.  This was going to be a LONG series!!!

So back to the Germans . . . we were all surprised at the hardware.  The Germans came ready for battle.  I have never seen such speed at an amateur (unlicensed) event.  These guys looked like pros from gear and they way they road!  The winning time averaged over 43 kph (~27 mph)...up a slow burn grade!  Where were the “beginners” that we thought we would crush.

We thought we would have it easy . . . our team finished 9th out of 11 teams and the others (to include The TURTLE) were even further back.  Our eyes were slapped wide open. We have work to do and lots of room to improve.

But in closing, my season in Europe is finally starting.  I have lots of room to improve and improve I will.  On 1 January 2013 at 0001 I designated 2013 the Year of the BikeROCKstar.  It is that and more!!!  This is my time to make it happen.  I supported my a great bunch of cats in the US and here in Germany.  And this include one each Claudia Bauder (http://www.canadianatheart.com/).  She has supported the long training rides and the 0500 spins in my pain cave basement over the winter.

I will not waste this chance . . . IT’S ON!