LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: Dancing on the Pedals with the King

With no races from the German Cycling Cup or Zeitfahrcup series on the calendar, I decided to inflict serious pain on my legs and compete in a hill climb time trial (TT) series in the Schwarzwald (Black Forest).  Most of you know climbing is far from my thing so I know you are already wondering what the hell was I thinking . . .

I wasn’t . . .

Normally a three race series, permit issues cut one race from the list and shortened another.  However, 2 hill climbs was more than enough pressure on the TURTLE shell . . .

The series began with the “Belchenkönig” --  at 1414 m ( ~ 4640 ft), the Belchen is the third highest peak in the Schwarzwald.  The original course called for a 10K race and 750m of climbing.  It was cut short to 4.5K and about half the climbing.  Again, that my friends was enough . . .

Determined to give it my best I arrived early, set up the trainer and pushed through my TEAM SKY TT Warm Up Protocol.  I arrived at the line warm and ready for the effort.  Unfortunately for me my poor German skills failed to recognize that a time delay was in effect.  I stood for almost and hour waiting to start.  Not good . . .

Yet being a social butterfly TURTLE I used the time to meet and greet my neighbors.  Topping the list of new members of the TURTLE CREW is the ROCKSTAR Team Kai and Charlotte Becker.  These two cats made both climbs on Tandems.  The first one together and the second one with their equally ROCKSTAR 3 and 6 year old kids on Tandems.  AWESOME!!!

But back to the rest of the story . . .

So after about an hour making friends and working on my TURTLE TAN, I started up “Der Belchen” like a rabid turtle.  Fifteen second intervals on a hill climb are KOOL ‘n da GANG!  You see the entire string of cats in front of you as little carrots requiring you to dig deeper into your hurt locker.  I caught one, and then another, and then another . . . YES!!!  I was on it.  This was my day.  I was catching more cats then were catching me.  Who said TURTLE could climb?

Recall some poor soul decided to claim my Garmin 705 a few weeks back and thus I had no idea how far I was going or where the climb ended.  There were no markings on the side of the road.  So I just pushed on.  I was feeling great on the bike . . .

I looked up a saw the road fork with equal accents up the mountain.  I looked like I had another K or more to go.  With my legs on fire I hit a serious steep section of the climb that I was ill prepared for.  I started a backspin.  Cats were passing me in waves.  Where did they come from?  Where were they all hiding?  I was getting a mental smack down as each passed . . .
 

Belchenkönig -- Here they come!!!

The each rode smart and kept the wheels on their buses.  Another lesson learned . . . know thy course!  I was kicking myself for not paying attention to the race profile.  I fell deeper int he hurt locker as my little stick legs began to snap . . .

The finish snuck up on me.  No sprint, no fan fare, just one broken TURTLE in search of a piece of cake . . . YUM!!!
 

After a sugar rush, I took the time to increase my social network of fellow crazies and all was good and grand again.  I was already planning my week to prepare for the second hill climb.  I found the lost wheels, put them back on the little bus, repaired my broken legs and made my way home.  One down, one to go . . .

Running up to the second TT in the series, the “Schauinslandkönig”  -- Der Freiburger Schauinsland climb was almost picture perfect.  The climb is the highest peak in the Schwarzwald (Black Forest) and was calling my name.  I had a few good training rides and was ready for greatness.  I was not tired but I felt trained . . .

Coach Quest (Eric Cole --  Dragon Quest Coaching) decided to join me on the drive down and the company was much appreciated.  We were joined by LINK (Matt Gonzalez) and his family fresh off the Frankfurt Ironman in or convoy south.  As I woke, I could feel a good day beginning . . .

Making a few final checks of my race info I quickly realized I misread the info and we were behind schedule.  So after hooking up I lowered the pedal to the floor and made up 30 minutes of time.  It was awesome!!! 

Well, as awesome as it could get when your GPS sends you down a narrow dirt mountain road.  We were a lost as one could be with four different GPS units reading four different locations and routes.  After driving around and missing my start time, I was ready to bag the day.  LINK and his crew were awesome sports.  They took the misdirection in stride and just rolled with it.  All were calm and collective.  Coach Quest was the only think helping me keep it together.  My start time was on display on my truck radio . . . UNKOOL!

But the cycling Angles would have nothing to do with me bagging the day.  We made a few turns and lucked into the start area.  I quickly sent LINK my location in a text and picked up my race packet.  Unlike a licensed event, I was told I could start as soon as I got ready as each person was timed by a chip attached to their numbers . . .

I did 5 min of fast pedals and a few hard efforts and went to the line.  Just about 500 meters into the start I saw a sign saying “12% grade.”  I just about fell off my bike and cried.  I should have spent 20 min doing a proper warm up.  I was not ready for the road ahead.  My goal of doing the climb in under an hour was starting to fade . . .

Laughing at Schauinslandkönig start

Yet the Cycling Angels once again showed me some love and got me over the first section.  At this point I felt pretty good and was even able to grab a few teeth and push up the climb.  Seeing markers and paint on the road counting down the Ks to the finish was motivating.  I was back and making it happen.  YES!!!

I caught up to TEAM Becker and used what little breath I had to give them all a shout out as I passed.  Kia was on a Tandem with one daughter and their 8-year old making the climb alone.  What a little stud!  A true bikeROCKstar in the making.  Charlotte was up the road a bit with their 3-year old.  Seeing them motivated me and I grabbed more teeth to dig deeper . . .

 
I finished the climb in under an hour at 53 min and change.  STRAVA has the #1 cat covering the same ground in 35 min.  I have some work before I am allowed to dance with the king.  I’ll used my time as a peasant a bit more wisely this fall with my eyes on the crown (or getting a little closer to the throne) next year . . .

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: Summer School Madness!

I believe it was the Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long &Foster President, Vic BRICK Siegfried that once told me, “…you learn to race by racing…go race!”


 

Well, school was back in session as I packed my car for a short drive north to the Hockenheim Formula 1 course for race 8 of 15 in the German Cycling Cup.  I had already convinced and prepared the TURTLE shell for 90 km of pure speed on a course that would loop through sections of the track.  No hills and only a light breeze in the forecast . . . the conditions were set for a power play of legs, carbon, and spandex.  I would need my A++ game to ride smart, find solid wheels, and cover the 90K in just over two hours . . .

Yet, my run up to the event was again less than ideal as my ability to balance all things TURTLE is becoming increasing difficult.  I was only able to get two training rides in early in the week and this is just not good enough.  I considered bailing on the day as I was just not prepared as much as I wanted or should have been.  However, that would mean bailing on a DragonQuest Racer p/b SLACRs teammate and was in itself a non-starter.  I recalled BRICK’s words and to the Ring I went . . .

As I said, the weather conditions were perfect!  After all of the races in rain and cold, I was considering applying sunscreen for the first time in months as I got ready.  Wrapping a towel around my waist to slide my bike shorts on I looked around and once again realized I was no longer in Kansas . . . this was Europe!!!

While I was trying to be a bit indiscrete, my fellow racers would have nothing to do with that.  Guys and gals were dropping clothes and changing in public.  While I am pretty secure and open, I did not expect a trip to “Naked Land” in the Hockenheim parking lot.  I considered doing the “when in Rome . . .” but decided to remain indiscrete and behind my towel.  This gained a few stares as I was the only idiot hiding his private parts.  So once again a TURTLE stands out in the crowd . . .

Hockenheim Formula 1 Track

Dressed and ready to roll I waited for HAMMER (Jeff Pannaman) to arrive and start and easy spin around the parking lot with a few fast pedals and a few accelerations prior to going to the line.  In hindsight, I should have found a shaded area and hit my full warmup protocol.  This was yet another lesson relearned on the day . . .

As we made our way to the start I noticed that everyone was grouped together in one massive bunch.  With two races going on, a 60 K and the 90 K, our numbers separated us into two groups at each distance (an A and a B).  This seems to have been all ignored and we all lined up together.  The mass resembled a large CAT 4/5 race x 100.  Way too many cats on the course at one time . . . my TURTLE shell was starting to tingle.  This did not feel right.

I was and remain spoiled by the first few races in the German Cycling Cup series.  Well organized, orderly line ups . . . VERY German.  This did not the case and far from my expectations.  Having no chance to pre-ride the course, I assumed all would be good.  I was soooooooo wrong!

An announcement was made on how the 60K riders should exit the course and after a delay the starting gun fired and we began our slow roll forward.  After picking up a bit until we reached the start line and the official timing for our laps were on . . .

Guys and gals were joking for position through the mass.  As we reached the 1st turn I had a CAT 5 flash back as cats began standing on their brakes to turn.  Bikes were moving accordion style from right to left.  Lines were broken and shouts (in German) were made.  UGH!!! Why did I blow off the cornering drills the past few weeks?  I was again out of practice in this domain.  One wrong move and to the pavement I would go leaving scratches and scars on the TURTLE shell.  I thought to myself . . . “this is going to leave a serious mark!”

After pushing to get away from a few wobbly riders, I started looking for solid wheels to follow through the turns.  As the turns went both right and left, it was hard to find the best position in the pack.  Add some very narrow sections of the course made being in the pack a bad idea.  My attempts to get up to the front were failing.  I was burning every match in the book . . . to include the wet ones in this ordeal.  Lining up in the back of a mass start is a lesson I should have remembered.  Another re-learned activity.  More demerits on my grade sheet . . .

Crashes were starting to happen on almost every lap.  The cringing sound of a “curse word” (by the way the word “sh**” seems to be universal) followed by carbon and aluminum hitting the payment echoed through the masses.  Focusing forward I rolled up behind a guy missing the entire backside of his shorts.  Not a pleasant sight for anyone on the back of the bus.  I made my way pass the guy as he shoved his number in his shorts to cover the hole.  He was determined to keep racing . . . of this I have to give serious props!

After about 5 laps the race was neutralized to allow a helicopter to medevac out a fallen rider.  At this point I had already expended every watt of power from my body.  After 20 minutes turned into 30 and then 40, I started to head to my car to drive home.  HAMMER convinced me to stay and I lined back up to finish the race with 4 laps for the 60K riders and 7 laps for the 90K crew.  By my math, this was cutting the race short.  I figured I could man-up to make it happen for the shorted distance.  I gave in to peer pressure . . .

The restart was a “kindler gentler” affair for the first lap.  I was fortunate to find a solid group of three cats and join them in setting a tempo around the course.  I have no idea how long the train behind us was but it was surely much safer being in the top 4 – 5 positions as we hit turns.  Corning muscle memory begin to wake from its deep slumber as I geared for sprints out of the turns to either remain in position or take over a few others.  Our group of 4 added a few others to the pace making and we started covering more ground.  Taking my turn at the front and drifting back a few bike lengths, I felt like a bike racer again . . .

Taking my turn  . . . but still at the back of the bus!

Things were going great until the final lap for the 60K riders.  A few were mixed in our group and started a surge to the line.  Riding the wave was fun . . . the cats sitting up after crossing the START/FINISH line was not.  As some cats sprinted for 500^th place . . . another CAT 5 flash back, wheels locked up to avoid crashes as riders slowly moved off the course.  This was another accident waiting to happen.  By the grace of the Angel I so little deserve I made it through the mass, regained my group and pushed to the complete the last few laps.

At this point I was riding hard and strong.  I should have been this way out the gate.  Circles in the parking lot are not a proper warm up.  I need to listen to my Coach and my growing instincts and do what I know and believe to be right and true.  I racked up way too many demerits at this race and know I can do better . . .

So, my grade on this assignment was a C-.  I passed but only because HAMMER talked me into getting back on the bike.  I have a race every weekend for the next 5.  I will improve my score . . . I will finish the season a bikeROCKstar!

LANTERNE ROUGE Season V: My Eyes Are Bigger Than My Legs -- The Deutschland Grand Prix

We last left our not-so-young TURTLE feeling über good about himself after a solid Time Trail (TT) performance at the German Zeitfahren Cup.  He even followed up the very next week shaving a full minute off his time on the local Stuttgart Local Area biCycle Riders (SLACRs) course.  Oh yeah, June was the month TURTLE would make TT history.  It was on!!!

Oh how I get ahead of myself . . .

After two good events I started a back slide.  Workouts became sporadic, work became a bit more intense, and a few stressors that I will not mention without alcohol close by began to impede on my quest for bikeROCKstar status.  I was loosing focus.  My caloric calculus was starting to reverse as I starting taking in more than I burned and my too big clothes were beginning to fit again . . . it’s almost funny how fast the body reverses it’s course when the only thing you find yourself being able to focus on is a bag of chips and a beer on the table.

But again, I digress . . .

The Deutschland Grand Prix is event 7 of 15 in the Germany Cycling Cup Series--almost half way through my season...YES!!!  The Specialize-sponsored event is a 2-day Time Trial (TT) effort with individual TTs on Day 1 and a 2-man and 4-man event on Day 2.  At the beginning of the season our DragonQuest Racers p/b SLACRs had long looked at this event with a desire to field two 4-man squads.  But as you can imagine, a 4-man synchronized TT effort takes time and effort in advance.  We failed to herd enough kittens to make this a reality.  We did put fourth two 2-man squads to continue our effort for recognition on the European racing scene.  The dedicate and committed few continue to ride forward . . .

After a week of good weather, Mother Nature decided the roads needed watering over the weekend.  Recalling how cold and wet I was from my first race of the season (The Zeithfahren Cup Prolog) I was not looking forward to the individual TT.  Temps were higher than last April but it was still wet out and as I mentioned above, I was out of balance.  I was digging deep to amp myself up for the day . . .

After checking into another great hotel where the owner/staff welcome cyclist with open arms and smiles, the sun shined through the clouds and the day started to get a little brighter.  The rain turned to a mist and temps stayed in the upper 50s.  This was going to be doable . . .

Finding cover I set up and got ready to make it happen.  I had to generate some heat and remind my legs what I was planning to do.  It was a struggle!  My lack of practice and focus bubbled to the surface.  I had even left my water bottles in the hotel and found myself running to a local shop in search of a bottle and fluids.  UGH!!!  This was not starting out good at all . . .

I pushed through the 20-min Team Sky TT Warm Up protocol and struggled to reach my desired Power numbers.  The warm up was not going well.  My core temp started to rise so at least the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven was working.  I just need to install a bigger light bulb one day in order to crank out a bit more than the 175 Watts I seem to fall back on on the road.  My calls to the engine room are often ignored and my little bulb tends to flicker under heavy loads.  I’m improving but still have a long way to go . . .

I finished my warmup and began my move to the start house with 15 minutes to go.  Perfect!  Like everyone else I left everything in place and focused on making it to the line.  That is one seriously KOOL ‘n da GANG thing about being here in Europe . . . no one messes with your stuff.  This was not true on the base this week as some poor soul decided to snag my Garmin 705.  I guess they needed it more than I did.  If I see some cat posting duplicate K’s and segments in Strava there will be hell to pay . . . but that is another story as well.

I was mentally prepared for the start as I made my way up to the line.  The gap between racers was 30 sec.  My eyes focused on the guy that started right in front of me.  I would repeat my last effort and then some.  Today was going to be my day.  At least this was the story I was telling myself . . .

Out the gate I went.  Making the first turn I wished I had pre-rode the route like 2 of my teammates.  I was far from smooth through the first set of turns.  Up the road I saw my 30-sec man and I was closing in.  Oh yeah . . . the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven was in full effect as power flowed through my legs.  This cat was mine!

Did I mention I should have pre-rode the course?  Well, I started up a rather long climb digging deep.  Driven by the simple pleasure of passing the guy in front of me I dug deeper.  I mashed on the gears and told my legs to give me more power.  Halfway up the rise the gap was decreasing.  Despite the rain, wet roads, and wind.  I was making it happen.  It was awesome . . .

Then it happened . . .

I over heated the TURTLE Easy Bake Oven and burred the cupcake!  My heartrate soared over 190 bpm.  Hitting my genetic upper limit -- I blew a fuse.  In fact, I blew multiple fuses before cresting the climb as my internal circuit panel lit up like a Christmas Tree.  My 30-sec man began to pull away.  I was cooked, the cupcake was burned, and still had 25 K of racing to do.  The suffer factor was now on . . . my eyes were bigger than my legs and I was paying for it with every pedal stroke.

A Partially Cooked TURTLE

I took about 5 K to recover and push my lung back into my chest.  At this point I was humbled as folks started passing me.

I took the lesson, settled into my groove and got back on it.  Making the turn around, I pushed hard (close to but not over the redline) to get a negative split.  I had to redeem some portion of my dignity.  On the way back I spotted another piece of my lung on the side of the road.  I left it there as a memorial . . .

My finish reminded me of the World Championship TT in which I finished 79th out of 81.  Here I was 40-something out of 40-something.  I was not last but very close to it.  UGH!!!  Not what I wanted or expected.  Need to regain my focus and get back on it . . .

I took a few verbals from my Coach that added to my lesson on the day.  Dragon Quest Coaching was not happy with my effort either.  I manned up as best I could and made a promise I would redeem myself on Day 2.  It would just have to happen . . . no excuses.

At this point I really need to give serious props to Doni Anderson.  The lone female racer on our crew finished her individual TT in a complete downpour.  She showed true mental toughness.  I need some of that . . .

After a free open air concert from a local band, Day 2 of the Grand Prix started GRAND!  The sun was out, the temps were up, and I knew what to expect from the course.  Redemption time!!!

I was paired up with Jeff HAMMER Pannaman.  HAMMER finished 7 minutes ahead of me on the individual TT.  We had practiced a few time together but still lacked true elegance on the road.   We were a very sad set of spandex covered unsynchronized swimmers.  But at least we were in matching kit!!!

It was impressive to see the 4-man teams line up and roll out.  This will remain out goal for next season but we had to get through today first!

HAMMER and I warmed up out of the sun and between intervals on the trainer, we discussed the course.  I would attempt to lead up the climbs, not blow up, and leverage HAMMER’s power on the flat sections.  I would take pulls when I could to give him a break.  It was all good in theory . . .

We made our way to the start and were off.  I took the first pull and got us through the first set of turns.  We started up the long climb and I geared accordingly.  I could not afford to blow a fuse today.  HAMMER on the other hand was on fire!  He had a great warmup and it showed.  He would pull away from me on almost every pull.  I had serious trouble pulling through.  I was on the edge of my limit and he was not even in the yellow.  He was a BEAST!

HAMMER making it look easy!

Before the turn around we were caught by the group behind us and then another.  HAMMER yelled, “there goes 1st . . . there’s 2nd...we are still on the podium TURTLE...let’s go!”

I was crushed when the 3rd group passed us.  HAMMER yelled, "...Darn it, we are off the podium now!"  Unable to contribute, I was holding HAMMER back...UGH!!!  We paired a Ford Escort up with a BMW and it was just not working.  However, forward I went.  “We” had to finish . . .

The turn around was a 14% down hill, around a church, and back up.  I was doing my best to cook any descent to make up time.  At the turn around I overbaked a turn, locked up my rear wheel and started a Tokyo Drift towards the curb.  With Hammer a few meters behind me I thought to myself, “...this was going to leave a mark!”

Though only an Angel’s pity, I did not lay the bike down, I regained control finished the turn and started up the climb with HAMMER leading the way through a flurry of cow bells and cheers.  There was an announcer in the crowd and our names and team name was called out across the speaker system.  Words of encouragement followed yelling “GO! GO! GO!” over the speaker system.  This was amateur racing with a pro feel . . . it was AWESOME!!!

My "One" good pull!

HAMMER was still on fire and called out the terrain and turns.  I found some spare Watts and took a few pulls as we headed for home.  We hit the final crest with 2 K to go and let it fly.  We finished 3 min slower than HAMMER’s solo effort and 4+ min faster than mine.  I gave over 100% in the effort.  I was cooked from head to toe . . . HAMMER was barely breaking a sweat.  Did I not say he is a BEAST!

Thanks to HAMMER we were not last.  However our 56+ min time was a long way from the 47+ min winners.  These cats averaged 43+ kph over the course.  This is “Jedermann” (everyone) racing . . . AMAZING.  I had truly underestimated the level of competition of this field.  This may not be the major leagues but it is not the minors either.  

The head of the German amateur cycling effort spoke the day prior and praised such events as great places to compete.  That is true and then some . . .

We are half way through the season now and I am reflecting on what I can do better next year.  I need to get my focus back and finish stronger in order to build a platform to move up next season.  I refuse to let setbacks blur my vision.  Delays will happen but my quest for bikeROCKstar status will continue.  My legs will catch up to my eyes one day and I will finish in the top of the pack if not on the podium  Of this I remain certain . . .