Lanterne Rouge Vol 2: Rabid TURTLE Development Program

"No campaign plan survives first contact with the enemy"
- Helmuth Graf von Moltke, German Generalfeldmarschall.

Well here was my plan for the week. I put a great deal of little TURTLE brain bites in it and even sent it to my couch Bill Gros (Pyramid Training Systems--pyramidtrainingsystems@yahoo.com) so we could begin TURTLE Development in earnest beginning tomorrow 1 Sep . . .

MON: FC x 2; small chain ring / Gym . . . one rep maximum test to determine workout weight;

TUE: FC x 2; small chain ring . . . test to see if I can do two days back to back--have not done that in a while

WED: MC x 2 / Gym (week 1 program)

THUR: MC x 2 / may try RBC ride if I can make it out of my meting by 1600. It takes almost 1+00 from desk to Dunn-Lorring Metro and another 1+00 to the RBC meet point in Herndon. That includes transition time. I can always bail on that ride as it gets close to my house.

FRI: MC x 1 and pick up rental car for the weekend . . .

Here’s what the codes FC and MC mean:

(42K) FULL (PENTAGON) COMMUTE (FC): http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/va/sterling/669124927245977844

(24K) METRO COMMUTE (MC): http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/va/sterling/495124173919732297

So, the plan was set and at 0400 I was up and ready to execute a 0500 departure. My only worry was if my one headlamp would last the commute. The second bulb in my NiteRider Classic burned out last week and I had no spare. Order three last night before going to bed.

But then I believe someone set off an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) device at my place around 0430. My laptop crashed with the MAC version of the Window’s Blue Screen of death. That is not supposed to happen!!! After a few minutes of trying to get it restarted—they all failed, I pushed for the door. I had a 42K ride to work and needed to get going into the sunrise . . . ah the nostalgia. NOT!!! I was !@#$%^& already late!!!

Then my Garmin Edge 305 did not turn on! Where were the @#$%^&* gremlins??? And why were my two cats laughing so hard???

Yet into the darkness I pushed and at 5K down the road I remembered I left an item that I needed for work. Back I went. More gnashing of teeth. More crushing blows to the TURTLE shell. This just about eliminated my desire to get to the gym and start a weight lifting routine. Why was someone trying to take away TURTLE joy??? Who did I piss off now??? I already told my Boss of my plans to retire . . .

I was starting to get crushed mentally. Then I really thought about it . . . I don’t need a HR monitor or computer to tell me how to pedal fast. Back to old school I go. And the laptop? Well, I had 2K set aside for a PowerTap or a beater pick-up truck. Both move down the list now . . .

So att this point the one piece of working technology…my iPod, was in full throttle. I matched the hard rock with the quickest cadence my little TURTLE stick could muster. OK, stop laughing . . . it was more than 50 rpm. I don’t know how much more (remember…no computer) but it was more!!!

With about 12K to go, I rolled up a guy at a light. We traded passing each other for a bit and then decided to ride and talk to each other. He pushed the tempo a bit (he was on a clock and I was trying to stay in the small chain ring) but I hung in there.

Turns out he is commuting the National Defense University (NDU…I worked there this past summer) and even better, he is in the USAF (graduated 2 years ahead of me at the Air Froce Academy) and did an exchange tour with the German Luftwaffle (Air Force). It was just the words I needed to break me out of my electronic funk . . .

I fixed the Garmin when I got to work this AM. Jeff Erler (I bought the Edge 305 from him) told me it would happen and I found the trick to restart it posted on the web. Could not do it this AM…recall—no laptop.

However, I am on it and although it is only 1245 and I really need to get back to work, I am looking forward to the spin home. The Rabid TURTLE Development Plan starts in earnest tomorrow!

Life is still good!

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: This is like deja vu all over again!

Can someone please stand up and tell me what century and month we are in? For some reason it feels like "The Ides of March" and I was once again slain on the road to cycling greatness this past weekend. Similar to 15 Mar 09 when I did my very first CRITat the last race of the TradeZone series in MD, Brutus and a few others inflicted a serious pain on my legs and left me for dead . . .

Before I bring the fear with the gory details, I'll start with the good stuff . . .

My last weekend of road racing (this season that is--a bit too mental to go into rehab for this addictive drug...I WILL RACE FOREVER!!!) began with the final installment of the 540Cycling Development Series. After a poor personal effort in race 1, a bit of confusion and poor communication in race 2, Evolution Cycling Club's CAT 5 crew came to the line hungry for victory. OH yeah, this is why this is so addictive. Give me another hit of pure testosterone will ya!!!

We revised our strategy a number of times. Chris Carlson had the plan and I had my orders. I told the Brothers that I was not going to fall back in the pack like last race. I would stay near the front no less than 5 deep and haul the mail as best my little TURTLE sticks could. I had one of the best warm ups I have had in a long time. I took the full hour!!! I was hydrated, I was pumped (withoutRedBull), I was ready . . .

So off we went and within the first lap I moved to position 3 and then bounced up to 2. After a few laps the bell rang for a prime. In an instant, I decided to go for it. Sitting second wheel, I had never been in a position for such an effort. Heck, this was my last circuit race so why not try something new?

Entering the last turn and small up hill section, I was still second wheel. I just had to time my break out effort to win the prime. However, others were there to spoil my TURTLE glory. Two others moved to my left and the third was my teammate Chad. I was still hungry for the prime and decided to go for it. About 25m from the line I remembered why TURTLE has never won a prime. TURTLE can't sprint!!!

What was I thinking? Again, will someone please remind me of the century and month. I was just about to get slain again!!! I was toast after the effort and for a fleeting painful post (and very poor) sprint pedal strokes, I wondered if I would get shot out the back for my treachery. Who was I to contest a prime? I'm a TURTLE for a reason . . .

Falling about 10 deep, Jon Burns, a brother racing unattached yelled, "Get on TURTLE!" Got to love that push from someone you have just recently met . . . I got back on. Don't know how but I did. I sat back a bit to recover. While in the pack some guy kept pinching my ass. I thought it was a hint to move up or move over. Later I found out it was fellow teammate Jamie Lees letting me know he was there. The first time surprised me. The 5th time I was starting to like it a bit too much and began the move up . . .

Confidence returning and seeing Chris Carlson near the front I knew I had to go back to work. I rolled up on him and told him I had it. I went back to position 2 and road hard until the next prime. Lost some ground on the surge for the prime but w/ 4 to go, the 5 of us moved to the front. The plan was Kevin, then me, followed by Chris and Chad. I think we failed to get all of the plan to Jamie but he was in on the effort none-the-less . . .

With 1 and 1/4 to go, the guy that had won the first two races jumped with a Coppi cat and had a nice gap on the field. I was second wheel and the guy in front of me was letting them get away. This was the move!!! With the team behind me I felt I had to chase. The effort burned all 3 of my matches. Even the last wet one was used. Chris finished off the effort just as we hit the start finish line and on the bell lap he and Chad went for it w/ Kevin and Jamie at the front of the group. No CAT 5 BLOB to the finish . . . Bill Gros and the EVO Elders would be proud.

The slight down hill played to the bigger riders and Chad got boxed in a bit and was caught. However, EVO did well. We took 3rd (Jamie), 5th (Chad), 14th (Kevin), 16th (Chris), 18th (me), and 21st (Jerry P). We got on the podium!!! Way to go Jamie. In fact, Jamie was 3rd in the CAT 5 race and 3rd in the CAT 5 35+ . . . ANIMAL!!!

So, my last circuit race as a CAT 5 and I failed to secure a top 10. My 18th place finish dropped me from 9th to 14th in the series. Not how I wanted to end my season but gives me more motivation for next year. Speaking of motivation, while wishing I had done better (yeah, TURTLE does sometimes has a bad moment), Roxanne, while limping around in a leg cast, smacks me in the back of the head to provide perspective. It worked . . . As SOC says, "Perspective is something that you don't have...until you have it." . . . I have it!!!

If finishing 18th was not hard enough I headed to the Page Valley Road Race on Sunday. The course offered a 1.5 mile climb and about 1000ft of climbing each lap. We would go up that climb 3 times . . .

Here I met up with SKIP who was just off his ride in France during the Tour and covering some of the great climbs. He looked lean and ready to rock. I began in bad shape and it only got worse . . .

The field broke apart on the first climb. I was joined by a guy on the decent and working together we picked up another. The three of us worked to meet up for SKIP after he sat up to wait for me. What a Brother!!! The four of us grabbed two others. This was AWESOME!!! Well...until the last climb . . .

Starting just 5min behind us were the CAT 4 women and SKIP put in a hard effort to ensure they would not catch us. As we reached the base of the final climb my legs began to cramp. SKIP and the other 5 cats rolled away. The last time I cramped this bad I was about 20lbs heavier!!! Tried my best to just pedal through it but could not. Stopped and actually got off the bike as everyone, to include the ladies field (led by Cat and Emma) can flying by. TURTLE was done!!! TURTLE TOAST scattered across the road as buzzards circled overhead . . .

It took every bit of mental will to get back on the bike. I wanted in the chase car bad!!! I marked two guys in front of me and caught them both. As I hit the last rise to the finish the cramping return. I saw the line and just punched it. I did as FISH asked, I left it all and more on the road. I saved the hardest race I have ever done for my last road race of the season . . .

With only the Church Creek TT on the calendar (2 weeks away), I'll submit my upgrade paperwork this week. Time to reflect on a season that started with a crushing at TradeZone (lapped three times in that CRIT) and ends with one equally as intense.

As I got home, my neighbor was just returning from bowling practice. For an instant I considered a sports change. Then I woke up and remembered the building of Rome took more than one season. I put my winter training wheels on my road rig and the run up to next year begins after some down time . . . and a few Dirty Martinis!!!

Lanterne Rouge Rookie Race Report: "21" . . . BLACKJACK!

BLACKJACK? Sorry, that was a flash back . . .

I once lived in Vegas and never won a nickel. However, I often took friends and family on casino tours and they all did great. This is sort of how my racing effort is shaping up. My team mates are kicking serious butt and taking names. I read their race reports and shake each time the phone rings. I think it is the EVO Godfather, Vic THE BRICK, calling for my cycling kit. I'll have to give it up or face a few guys from New Jersey in a dark DC alley....

I've competed in 21 events to date and that top 10 finish still stands just out of my reach. However, I'm still at it and already looking forward to this coming Saturday. Oh yeah, despite a poor performance weekend, the UBER positive TURTLE is in full throttle as this week starts . . .

But let's take a step back . . .

The TURTLE Uber Positive (TUP) Index was off the charts Saturday AM. I had my Baby Brother Adam visiting from Chicago this past weekend and he was was excited about seeing me race. Took a jab from SLUG pointing out that Adam my "real" Brother and not a teammate (my normal greeting) and most certainly not just someone who's name I have forgotten (my default response). Add a full suite of Evolution Cycling Club jerseys to the mix and confidence went through the roof.

I beat my rather skinny chest as I picked up my number and boldly announced EVO was bringing da heat today!!! The 540Cycling Development series would have an EVO jersey on the podium today. I just knew it. Larry Byvik of 540Cycling was stoked to see the numbers from the EVO crew. That just added to my mental, over confident, espresso, pre-RedBull high . . .

So, the Brothers huddled and words were exchanged. We had a few Brothers in their first CRIT but that did not stop my mouth. As we rolled around the course guys I met on race #1 of the series yelled out . . . "TURTLE, what the _____? You brought a train with you!" More skinny chest beats. Almost caved it in at one point so I had to back off a bit. I need my lungs to race.

We decided not to attack and counter attack and see how the field developed. There was a plan to hit it w/ 5 to go w/ Chris and Chad going for it. The rest of us would cover the front and if the boys were caught, Andrew would conserve and hit it hard.

From the start no one wanted any part of being at the front in this race. Chris set the tempo for most of the race and even took a prime. Somehow I missed that there were primes and so did he. It was a surprise to us all but no one challenged him at the front. David was also leading a great deal of the race. Most of the team stayed within the top third of the field. However, we were fairly spread out and that hurt us to a degree.

Looking back in that all so clear 20/20 vision, we should have sent three guys on the front and just beat the field down. We had the strength in the field to do it but just did not organize it well. We've done that in the past but did not execute it well this time around.

With 5 to go I moved up to about 4 deep with Chris on the front. We did not lay down the attack but with 3 to go a guy from Coppi pushed hard. Chris covered it and drug the rest of us up. TURTLE fear began here! This is where I am usually shot out the back for the final 2 laps and come limping home with my head hung low. But somehow I hung in as guys in the pack on my team and cats I have raced with this season yelled at me to stay in it. And that I did but I had drifted back in the lead group from my position near the front. It was a bad, very bad position.

With one to go, David (in his first CRIT) pushed off the front. It was an awesome move showing the strength of his serious distance work. This was the move I needed but about 7 deep and boxed to the opposite side of the road I was way out of position to go with him. It then became very unorganized as the last lap pace increased. After my excitement of being in the lead group for the final lap, I counted helmets in a desperate math in public move.

Reality hit like a bag of nickels across the face. Higher math said I was too far back and had to move up if I wanted a top 10 finish. I started my effort but everyone else was doing the same. The CAT 5 BLOB was coming! RUN!!!

We were all over the place. Bad lines just about took Chris and Andrew out in the second to last turn and as we hit the final turn the front spread out across the road and the sprint to the line started.

Unfortunately, our best sprinter, Chad did not know it was the last lap. Kevin, our best TT guy in the field did not realize it either. Not having a good sprint, it was sad that I knew and they didn't. I gave my best effort and found myself sprinting next to my teammate way to far out. CRAZY!!! David already said he was not a sprinter. I could have used his power to get me closer to the line. Instead, I faded and was passed by three folks to finish 13th. Missed my 10!

EVO took 7th, 10th, 11th, 13th, 14th, and 15th. Those numbers should all be less than 10 w/ a 1st place finish to boot.

Crushed I was. I started looking for excuses and had to check my attitude. It took a few email slings off list w/ Chris and Chad to set me straight. Thanks Brothers. We will make it happen this week. EVO will win . . . PERIOD!!!

But my weekend was not over. My little Brother and I headed south for The Peter Teeuwen Memorial Omnium Time Trial in Chesapeake, VA. As we showed up Sunday AM I ran into SLUG, JUNK and Ray. Was told that the EVO Godfather, VIC da Brick was there as well. Nice! The pressure was on to do better than my Church Creek TT effort over a month ago.

At the start line, JUNK passed on course info . . . thanks Bro! So after a great warm up, I was ready to hit it and off I went. The wind heading out was not harsh but was more than the little TURTLE engine could handle. The "I think I can, I think I can" chant drifted to looking at my speed and wondering why it was not picking up. There was little to no rhythm in legs or breathing. I was a disaster on the dance floor. I shifted through gears looking for the right mix as my speed began to fade even more. Even though I caught 2 riders, 3 had caught me. I was not doing well.

Making the turn for the last 10 K I found my groove and was able to keep a consistent speed (hleped by a bit of tail wind). Could have used that 25K ago!!! I was late to the party and had no date or anyone to dance with at this point. It was a solo effort down the Soul Train line with my best atempt to bust a move . . .

For about 30 sec I believe I could brake an hour. NOT!!! I crossed the line at 1:02:28. Average speed of just 32 KPH. I need soooooooooooo much more work.

21 separate events (Road races, CRITs, and TTs) completed to date and a top 10 finish remains just outside my reach. Discouraged? NEVER!!! This just sets me up w/ experience and a since of dedication to attack next season as a CAT 4 TURTLE. The Rabid TURTLE is not done . . .